I'm losing my brain!

It's been said that every time a woman has a baby, she loses one quarter of her brain.

I'm not sure how accurate this is, but honestly some days, since I had my little munchkin, I feel like the biggest bimbo.

Anyway, today my sister and I went to Burwood Westfield. We visit a different shopping centre every couple of days to break the monotony of being at home with kids. As we push our prams around - she has this double pram monstrosity that clears a path in any shopping centre traffic jam - we gossip, try on shoes and eat McDonald's or Subway. We bitch about skinny girls, fat girls, faggy looking woggy guys and people with really bad fashion sense.
For example, there was this girl who looked about 25 today who looked like a complete idiot. She had dyed her long hair jet black and had peroxided a thick streak of her hair on top of her head white blonde. She looked like a freaking skunk! And to make things worse, she was wearing skin tight black and white snake skin vinyl pants. She also had on ten centimetre high stiletto thigh length boots - with STUDS! I'll relate the exchange between my sister and I.

``Oh my God, check out this chic, she looks like a freaking skunk,'' I said.
``Whichever hairdresser did that to her should be shot,'' she said.
``And look, she's walking with her (mid 50-year-old Indian) parents. I would be embarrassed to walk with my daughter if she looked like that,'' I said.
``If that was my daughter, I'd smack her in the head and wouldn't let her leave the house looking like that.'' she said.

We then burst into peals of laughter.

Another favourite pastime of ours is checking out good looking guys. While we are both married to gorgeous men, a little bit of eye candy never goes astray. You would be surprised how many good looking guys there are at shopping centres during the day. The funny thing is, if we ever caught our hubbies checking out another woman, we'd both be shouting blue murder. I'll relate another exchange we had today.

``You should have seen his sexy guy on Burwood Rd getting into his truck.He wasn't wearing a shirt, only shorts. He was hot,'' I said.
``Did he have a good body?'' she said.
``Yeah. But then I saw that he was getting into a truck with garbage removal services printed on it,'' I said.
``Ohhhhhh.''

I don't exactly understand her last ``ohhhhh.'' She was probably imagining what the guy looked like not being turned on by garbage!

Anyway, back to the topic of this entry. After we finished our shopping, my sister and I parted company and I went to buy some meat. I'm not really familiar with Burwood Westfield, but I was sure I knew how to get back to my car. I mean, how hard could it be? I parked in the Parents with Prams section right outside the doors to the shops. You wouldn't believe it, but I walked around and around for about 45 mins. I was getting disoriented, baby was screaming ``MAMA MAMA MAMA MAMA'' and I was at the point of losing it. I found a customer service desk.

``I've lost my car, I mean I don't know how to get to the carpark. I went up the escalator thingy and Target was one level up.''
I then burst into tears. This woman just looked at me in complete disbelief.
``Okay pet, no need to cry. Do you remember what colour you parked on?''
I just stood there shaking my head, tears coursing down my cheeks.
``I think it was pink.'' I sobbed.
``No dear, there isn't a pink level.''
Anyway after explaining where I thought the car was she looked at me with a look of pity on her face and said,
``You are on the right level. Just walk 100 metres and then go down the travelator.''
``But, I just came from that direction, I've been walking up and down this section for 10 mins.''
I think at this point she thought I was insane. She walked around her desk and escorted me to the travelator which led straight to my car. I had walked past it about 7 times.

Now can you see why I think I'm losing my brain??