My First Christmas...love the teeth
Saturday 25 December 2004
Friday 24 December 2004
Merry Christmas!
I know I have been a slack arse blogging, but if having a very energetic 9-and-a-half month old and being four months pregnant isn't a great excuse, I don't know what is.
Tonight, my family will be celebrating a family tradition I really look forward to every year - Midnight Mass. Just thinking about going tonight, however, makes me think back to a Christmas Eve when I was 14 and a very cheap drunk, (come to think of it, I still am a cheap drunk). Anyhow, let me set the scene.
Dad was working the night shift, mum was joining the yearly street Christmas get together before mass, our house was open to all the street's kids - from a mix of cultures and creeds - one of which was my best friend, a Muslim girl I grew up with who lived a few doors down.
Anyway, my eldest sister, who was 20 at the time, had a car and a life, and thought Midnight Mass was boring, but would go out and come back in time. My 16 year old brooding sister - who didn't think it was fair she had to stay home and watch me - thought it would be fun to get stuck into the stash of Tia Maria my mum always had and have some fun. Even to this day, the details are a little sketchy, but here are a few things that have been burned into my memory.
1) Standing at the kitchen sink throwing handfuls at water at kids yelling. ``Is anyone thirsty?''
2) Running through Naremburn with my sister and friend in tow, pounding on the local priest's presbytery door at 10pm asking, ``What time is Midnight Mass''? (In my drunkenness, I really thought this was a legitimate question)
3) Getting dressed to go to church and falling into the wardrobe, with my Muslim friend, flashing my pre-pubescent body and froggy-undies.
Anyway, when my mum got home at 11.45pm, she wasn't impressed. She quizzed my sister - who kept bitch-slapping me to stand up straight - what was wrong with me. Anyway, we made it out the door and walked/stumbled the 500 metres to church. My mum has always sat in the front pew at church and tonight was no exception. By this stage, church was packed. As we entered, all eyes were on us, especially as I was uncontrollably giggling. As we took our places, the aforementioned priest spyed us and gave us the WORST greasy - it was more like a death stare. I vaguely remember not being able to stand and people snickering all around me. As I sat down for the 15th time in 5 minutes, my mum yanked me by the arm and marched me to the side door, expelling me from the sacred mass. Slamming the door behind her, I sat down on the cold stone steps and then proceeded to hurl my guts. Vomit was all over the church steps! I could still hear the carolers inside, but through the haze, I saw an apparition. As it grew closer, I realised it was just my big sister. She just took one look at me, bailed me into her 1976 Toyota Celica and drove me home.
The next morning I suffered my first hangover. Ofcourse, my mum was up banging pots and pans and had the stereo blasting Christmas tunes from 5.30am. I realised that this was my punishment. Not a word was ever spoken about that night - even to this day. She never told dad, who I was scared shitless would withhold my new stack hat. But that day, my pounding head was shown no pity. I guess I deserved it.
I'm really looking forward to this Christmas as it is my baby's first one. I just hope she doesn't throw up on the church choir tonight!
Best wishes to all - and please drive safely.
Tonight, my family will be celebrating a family tradition I really look forward to every year - Midnight Mass. Just thinking about going tonight, however, makes me think back to a Christmas Eve when I was 14 and a very cheap drunk, (come to think of it, I still am a cheap drunk). Anyhow, let me set the scene.
Dad was working the night shift, mum was joining the yearly street Christmas get together before mass, our house was open to all the street's kids - from a mix of cultures and creeds - one of which was my best friend, a Muslim girl I grew up with who lived a few doors down.
Anyway, my eldest sister, who was 20 at the time, had a car and a life, and thought Midnight Mass was boring, but would go out and come back in time. My 16 year old brooding sister - who didn't think it was fair she had to stay home and watch me - thought it would be fun to get stuck into the stash of Tia Maria my mum always had and have some fun. Even to this day, the details are a little sketchy, but here are a few things that have been burned into my memory.
1) Standing at the kitchen sink throwing handfuls at water at kids yelling. ``Is anyone thirsty?''
2) Running through Naremburn with my sister and friend in tow, pounding on the local priest's presbytery door at 10pm asking, ``What time is Midnight Mass''? (In my drunkenness, I really thought this was a legitimate question)
3) Getting dressed to go to church and falling into the wardrobe, with my Muslim friend, flashing my pre-pubescent body and froggy-undies.
Anyway, when my mum got home at 11.45pm, she wasn't impressed. She quizzed my sister - who kept bitch-slapping me to stand up straight - what was wrong with me. Anyway, we made it out the door and walked/stumbled the 500 metres to church. My mum has always sat in the front pew at church and tonight was no exception. By this stage, church was packed. As we entered, all eyes were on us, especially as I was uncontrollably giggling. As we took our places, the aforementioned priest spyed us and gave us the WORST greasy - it was more like a death stare. I vaguely remember not being able to stand and people snickering all around me. As I sat down for the 15th time in 5 minutes, my mum yanked me by the arm and marched me to the side door, expelling me from the sacred mass. Slamming the door behind her, I sat down on the cold stone steps and then proceeded to hurl my guts. Vomit was all over the church steps! I could still hear the carolers inside, but through the haze, I saw an apparition. As it grew closer, I realised it was just my big sister. She just took one look at me, bailed me into her 1976 Toyota Celica and drove me home.
The next morning I suffered my first hangover. Ofcourse, my mum was up banging pots and pans and had the stereo blasting Christmas tunes from 5.30am. I realised that this was my punishment. Not a word was ever spoken about that night - even to this day. She never told dad, who I was scared shitless would withhold my new stack hat. But that day, my pounding head was shown no pity. I guess I deserved it.
I'm really looking forward to this Christmas as it is my baby's first one. I just hope she doesn't throw up on the church choir tonight!
Best wishes to all - and please drive safely.
Sunday 19 December 2004
I miss him so much!
Sorry I haven't written. My other half has been away for 8 days and I miss him so much, it actually hurts to breath. We have never spent one night apart, let alone a week!
With my darling away in the salt mines of Western Australia, I have had hardly any time to do anything except take care of my little cherubic, sometimes psycho baby. I really feel for single mums.
I'm going to have to run, but will write more when he gets back, hopefully in a a couple of days.
Wish me luck.
With my darling away in the salt mines of Western Australia, I have had hardly any time to do anything except take care of my little cherubic, sometimes psycho baby. I really feel for single mums.
I'm going to have to run, but will write more when he gets back, hopefully in a a couple of days.
Wish me luck.
Thursday 9 December 2004
Newsreaders shit me!
What's happened to Helen Kapalos?
Everytime I see her, her hair gets shorter and her voice gets deeper. I can't stand listening to her read the news!!! I would rather stick my head in the freezer and repeatedly bang the door on my head. She talks as if she has something in her mouth that tastes disgusting and is about to throw it up. I don't really mean to be this nasty, but if they need a token wog on Channel 9 news, why not employ me? I'm not saying I'm a supermodel, but I'm sure I'd do a better job than her.
Phew, I've vented.
Anyway, on a completely different subject, with Christmas coming, up, everybody's looking for the answer, everybody wants salvation for the soul. I was really pissed off the other day when some people from other religions (NOT NAMING for FEAR of reprisal) have found Christmas decorations OFFENSIVE! This, I find complete lunacy. A few months ago, there was this GIANT candelabra-thingy (AGAIN, not naming names) in Chatswood which I found a waste of space - it's not like there was a change of faith in the Willoughby City Council constitution, but the point is, I didn't go on radio, stirring up hate by saying I found it offensive. What the hell did Christmas baubles and trees ever do to these people! I understand freedom of religion, but the last time I looked, WE ARE A CHRISTIAN NATION! Next thing you will hear is that Santa has been replaced with the title ``The Man in the red suit who gives ALL people a free Westfield Colouring book at ALL times of year.''
Speaking about Santa, my hubby and bubby and I are going to get our picture with Santa tonight. This is very exciting as I'm not sure whether my little angel will pull off his fake beard or poke his eyes out. Ohh, by the way, my husband refuses to call him Santa, it's (apparently) St Nicholas. I've warned him that if he pushes this line with my daughter, she will be seen as the weird kid at school.
Everytime I see her, her hair gets shorter and her voice gets deeper. I can't stand listening to her read the news!!! I would rather stick my head in the freezer and repeatedly bang the door on my head. She talks as if she has something in her mouth that tastes disgusting and is about to throw it up. I don't really mean to be this nasty, but if they need a token wog on Channel 9 news, why not employ me? I'm not saying I'm a supermodel, but I'm sure I'd do a better job than her.
Phew, I've vented.
Anyway, on a completely different subject, with Christmas coming, up, everybody's looking for the answer, everybody wants salvation for the soul. I was really pissed off the other day when some people from other religions (NOT NAMING for FEAR of reprisal) have found Christmas decorations OFFENSIVE! This, I find complete lunacy. A few months ago, there was this GIANT candelabra-thingy (AGAIN, not naming names) in Chatswood which I found a waste of space - it's not like there was a change of faith in the Willoughby City Council constitution, but the point is, I didn't go on radio, stirring up hate by saying I found it offensive. What the hell did Christmas baubles and trees ever do to these people! I understand freedom of religion, but the last time I looked, WE ARE A CHRISTIAN NATION! Next thing you will hear is that Santa has been replaced with the title ``The Man in the red suit who gives ALL people a free Westfield Colouring book at ALL times of year.''
Speaking about Santa, my hubby and bubby and I are going to get our picture with Santa tonight. This is very exciting as I'm not sure whether my little angel will pull off his fake beard or poke his eyes out. Ohh, by the way, my husband refuses to call him Santa, it's (apparently) St Nicholas. I've warned him that if he pushes this line with my daughter, she will be seen as the weird kid at school.
Wednesday 8 December 2004
Nurofen vs Panadol
I have discovered that my baby is not like other babies.
For one, most mums who are going mental with their little one's antics, pump their babies with Panadol to calm them down, give them a bit of pain relief and get some rest. My bub gets hypo. Not just a little, but last night she stayed up till 2.45am wanting to PLAY! I'm sure everyone in my apartment block heard me yelling at her. I feel really guilt about it now, but FUCK, I was SO tired, sorry EXHAUSTED. Anyway, today I decided to get out of the house and took her to Chatswood to get some shopping done. She must be allergic to Target as she screamed, yelled and chucked the biggest tanty. As I stood at the checkout to pay for the nappies, this kindred soul turned to me and said, ``Have you tried Nurofen for babies?''
Within five minutes, now red faced baby on hip, pushing pram and carrying three shopping bags, I waddled to the chemist and bought what I thought, would be the saviour of my sanity. It was 3pm by now, and she had been awake for six hours. Too stubborn to close her big brown eyes, she was so tired. Anyway, I bought the Nurofen, gave it to her and, lo and behold, within five minutes she was sleeping!
This however, was not to last.
12-and-a-half minutes later, and she was up and at `em, full of beans and charming the pants off each shopper in Westfield.
I'm exhausted. Going to sleep
For one, most mums who are going mental with their little one's antics, pump their babies with Panadol to calm them down, give them a bit of pain relief and get some rest. My bub gets hypo. Not just a little, but last night she stayed up till 2.45am wanting to PLAY! I'm sure everyone in my apartment block heard me yelling at her. I feel really guilt about it now, but FUCK, I was SO tired, sorry EXHAUSTED. Anyway, today I decided to get out of the house and took her to Chatswood to get some shopping done. She must be allergic to Target as she screamed, yelled and chucked the biggest tanty. As I stood at the checkout to pay for the nappies, this kindred soul turned to me and said, ``Have you tried Nurofen for babies?''
Within five minutes, now red faced baby on hip, pushing pram and carrying three shopping bags, I waddled to the chemist and bought what I thought, would be the saviour of my sanity. It was 3pm by now, and she had been awake for six hours. Too stubborn to close her big brown eyes, she was so tired. Anyway, I bought the Nurofen, gave it to her and, lo and behold, within five minutes she was sleeping!
This however, was not to last.
12-and-a-half minutes later, and she was up and at `em, full of beans and charming the pants off each shopper in Westfield.
I'm exhausted. Going to sleep
Tuesday 7 December 2004
More pitter patter of tiny feet,
I can't believe it has been a week and a half since I blogged last, but I have a real excuse.
The best reason is that, wait for it, I'M PREGNANT!!! Yes, I will be going through the whole birth thing all over again come next winter. My darling husband and I had it all confirmed last week. For those of you who have never witnessed an ultrasound, it is truly amazing. The little bugger was even sucking it's thumb! I think, for a while, I was in that Egyptian river, yes DENIAL, but it has definitely sunk in now. While my little princess and the new addition will only be 15 months apart, I'm ecstatic that the Lord has blessed us with another miracle. The morning sickness hasn't been all that bad, it's more the tiredness and headaches, but now all those cravings for Krispy Kremes and Violet Crumbles can be explained. Ohh, and also the reason why I've put on 5 kilograms. (well, that's what I'm telling myself)
The second reason why I haven't blogged is that I picked up some chesty/fluey thing last week. You know that one; blocked ears, blocked nose, chills, sweats and a terrible cough. I honestly haven't been sick like that since 1999 - my last Kickboxing bout. It's totally knocked me for six, and I'm still coughing up green phlegm (gross, I know).
The third reason is that our Hot Water system decided to shit itself last week and it's been an expensive hassle getting it fixed. Something like this always happens just before Christmas, as well as an extra mortgage payment and car insurance. I suppose my loved ones are getting Scratchies this year.
The fourth reason is my angel has been teething, i.e no sleep, clingy, snotty nose, screaming, you get the idea. Yesterday, all she wanted me to do was carry her while standing, I wasn't allowed to sit down. My poor hubby slept on the couch last night - he had to get up at dawn to catch a flight to Melbourne - just to get some sleep.
Well, that's my run down. I should be able to get a little inspiration tonight to write something a bit more entertaining.
``So long have I, gazed into your eyes, wondering what they'd look like on a new born child.''
The best reason is that, wait for it, I'M PREGNANT!!! Yes, I will be going through the whole birth thing all over again come next winter. My darling husband and I had it all confirmed last week. For those of you who have never witnessed an ultrasound, it is truly amazing. The little bugger was even sucking it's thumb! I think, for a while, I was in that Egyptian river, yes DENIAL, but it has definitely sunk in now. While my little princess and the new addition will only be 15 months apart, I'm ecstatic that the Lord has blessed us with another miracle. The morning sickness hasn't been all that bad, it's more the tiredness and headaches, but now all those cravings for Krispy Kremes and Violet Crumbles can be explained. Ohh, and also the reason why I've put on 5 kilograms. (well, that's what I'm telling myself)
The second reason why I haven't blogged is that I picked up some chesty/fluey thing last week. You know that one; blocked ears, blocked nose, chills, sweats and a terrible cough. I honestly haven't been sick like that since 1999 - my last Kickboxing bout. It's totally knocked me for six, and I'm still coughing up green phlegm (gross, I know).
The third reason is that our Hot Water system decided to shit itself last week and it's been an expensive hassle getting it fixed. Something like this always happens just before Christmas, as well as an extra mortgage payment and car insurance. I suppose my loved ones are getting Scratchies this year.
The fourth reason is my angel has been teething, i.e no sleep, clingy, snotty nose, screaming, you get the idea. Yesterday, all she wanted me to do was carry her while standing, I wasn't allowed to sit down. My poor hubby slept on the couch last night - he had to get up at dawn to catch a flight to Melbourne - just to get some sleep.
Well, that's my run down. I should be able to get a little inspiration tonight to write something a bit more entertaining.
``So long have I, gazed into your eyes, wondering what they'd look like on a new born child.''
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