Have you ever noticed how little traffic there is at 3.11am?

If I ever go back to paid work, I will look for something where I am working the night/early morning shift. Why you may ask? Well, in my hazy state of semi-consciousness in the wee hours of this morning, a glimmer of lucidity hit me. It's not all that bad being up at 3am and driving on the roads. There is no pollution, no getting the finger and no traffic. However, one must remember that this thought came to me after trying unsuccessfully for hours to put my toddler to sleep, myself completely sleep deprived and , oh yeah, being very heavily pregnant. So, I really wouldn't put much weight to this thought.

There was one sobering thought however. My husband hasn't decided to divorce me. Either he loves me quite a lot, or he has escaped to Bermuda and will not be returning tonight.I say this because if anyone had seen the state I looked in at 3am, 4am, 5am, 6am, and 10am this morning, they would have got a very big fright - and I'm not exaggerating. Picture a beached whale with Fraggle hair, unable to open sleep-encrusted eyes singing ``Five little ducks went out one day'' very off key wearing the most attractive maternity underwear (aka my husbands jocks which he put on me because I have lost the ability to dress myself. Anyway, my munchkin fell asleep last night about 10pm okay I thought to myself as I hankered down to read the latest Reader's Digest. 11.30pm and WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. To make a long story short, by 3.11am I thought I'd better try the night-time drive before I pull all my hair out. I was Cra-ghing (cry-laughing) as I watched my hypo-baby stand in the middle of my bed, swivel her hips (yes, she swivels!) curls bouncing everywhere yelling "Dance, dance dance" over, and over and over again.
It was sort of funny, but not really.

Anyhow, she is totally enthralled with Playschool at the moment - my 28 minutes of respite. Soon, however, I'm going to have to take her out before she demands I turn the stereo on and dance around.

I hope you all enjoy sleeping tonight. Now I totally understand how Chinese sleep-deprivation torture actually leads to insanity. I'm developing a weird tick.

yawn.

25 Days left and counting

Now, I know it has been like MONTHS since my last post, but really I can sum it all up in one word.
TIRED!!!
The only reason I am actually blogging right now is because my beautiful, thoughtful husband got me a lap top with wireless connection for Mother's Day. I used to poo-poo this fake holiday (it falls into the same category as Halloween and St Valentine's Day), I now think its a great day and am already looking forward to next year for an even more extravagant present.
Quick update on the light-of-my-life AKA my daughter. She's is running around and has a vocabulary of nearly 30 words. Very clever indeed. The running around is a bit scary sometimes, though, as I discovered last Friday night when, for no apparent reason she decided to run hell for leather straight into a concrete wall. I was watching her do it but was helpless to stop it. It was freaky how - as soon as she bounced off the wall, a little bright blue dot appeared on her forehead that, before my very eyes, grew to the size of an egg. I was home alone and freaked and tried to hold an ice pack on my hysterical baby's head - without much luck. Anyway, today the bump nearly non-existent and the bruise has turned a highlighter green. Lovely.

Now, to my impending delivery due date. While it is rapidly approaching, I CAN'T WAIT. These are the main reasons why.
1) I fucken hate maternity clothes. They are ugly, expensive and all in boring colours.
2) I can't wait to take a deep, long breath.
3) I'm sick of going to the toilet every 30 minutes.
4) My back hurts.
5) All my ligaments hurt.
6) I'm sick of people guessing what sex the baby will be based on how big my ass is.

But, the best reason is I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE THIS BABY. I'm really excited and feel so blessed. Ohhhhhh.

Time to get some sleep. (sleep? What's that again???) My little toddler is in the land of nod, and I just know that as soon as I doze, she will be calling out MAMA DADDDDEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.
Ahh, the joys!