Have you ever noticed how little traffic there is at 3.11am?

If I ever go back to paid work, I will look for something where I am working the night/early morning shift. Why you may ask? Well, in my hazy state of semi-consciousness in the wee hours of this morning, a glimmer of lucidity hit me. It's not all that bad being up at 3am and driving on the roads. There is no pollution, no getting the finger and no traffic. However, one must remember that this thought came to me after trying unsuccessfully for hours to put my toddler to sleep, myself completely sleep deprived and , oh yeah, being very heavily pregnant. So, I really wouldn't put much weight to this thought.

There was one sobering thought however. My husband hasn't decided to divorce me. Either he loves me quite a lot, or he has escaped to Bermuda and will not be returning tonight.I say this because if anyone had seen the state I looked in at 3am, 4am, 5am, 6am, and 10am this morning, they would have got a very big fright - and I'm not exaggerating. Picture a beached whale with Fraggle hair, unable to open sleep-encrusted eyes singing ``Five little ducks went out one day'' very off key wearing the most attractive maternity underwear (aka my husbands jocks which he put on me because I have lost the ability to dress myself. Anyway, my munchkin fell asleep last night about 10pm okay I thought to myself as I hankered down to read the latest Reader's Digest. 11.30pm and WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. To make a long story short, by 3.11am I thought I'd better try the night-time drive before I pull all my hair out. I was Cra-ghing (cry-laughing) as I watched my hypo-baby stand in the middle of my bed, swivel her hips (yes, she swivels!) curls bouncing everywhere yelling "Dance, dance dance" over, and over and over again.
It was sort of funny, but not really.

Anyhow, she is totally enthralled with Playschool at the moment - my 28 minutes of respite. Soon, however, I'm going to have to take her out before she demands I turn the stereo on and dance around.

I hope you all enjoy sleeping tonight. Now I totally understand how Chinese sleep-deprivation torture actually leads to insanity. I'm developing a weird tick.

yawn.