Tara's Mum

Faith or fashion?

2012-01-21T22:33:00.001+11:00

And now for a little rant.

My faith is an integral part of who I am, guides me in raising my daughters and the way I wish to live my daily life. It is mine - I have never imposed by belief system on anyone and I never will. I respect everyone's choices and, while I do not have to agree with other people's views, I will always listen and will only offer my opinion if asked. I am fortunate I have friends from all creeds and religions. My best friend is an Atheist.

Ok, so I now feel comfortable enough to proceed having stated my views.

Ever since Madonna decided to wear rosary beads as an accessory, fans have emulated this and followed suit. As I grew up in the 80s, I remember the uproar it caused and the media coverage it generated.
As all fads, this one subsided and people soon forgot.

A few years ago, I noticed a resurgence of the rosary bead necklace. At first, I'd see it worn by middle-aged women, like my mum, during and after World Youth Day in Sydney. This seemed acceptable by the general public and most never batted an eye.

As the religious fervour wound down, I then started to notice young guys around 15-25 years-old wearing them with pride and happy to tell you, if you asked (which I did) that they wore these to tell the world they were Catholics.

Soon after, I noticed jewellery shops jump on this trend and stock every kind of rosary bead imaginable - gold, silver, precious stones from baby to adult sizes.
None of this bothered me in the slightest. I loved seeing people proud to display their faith in such a public and beautiful way.

But, and this is where my anger begins to bubble up.

I'm no fashionista, but I clearly remember the night Aussie singer Delta Goodrem - during her battle with cancer - wore a set of rosary beads around her hand when she won an Aria. I saw this as a symbol of her faith or an amulet for protection during her illness.
What soon followed was a flooding of wannabees adoring themselves with rosary beads as fashion items.
Wear it if it MEANS something to you, but as pretty trinket? You really have no right, in my eyes.

Now, for those of you who think I'm just being hyper-sensitive, let me relay a conversation to you. A very close friend of mine lives in the same building as one of Australia's most respected, most popular designers. His name is synonymous with the latest trend, his clothing is worn by only the rich, and very rich.

Let's call him Bob.

One morning, Bob was leaving his trendy East Sydney apartment wearing a beautiful set of rosary beads around his neck, clearly visible upon his designer shirt. My friend, a photographer, was delighted to see this, but cynical at the same time. He asked Bob,

"Faith or Fashion?"

Incredulously Bob answered, "Fashion, darrrrrrling."

Recently, I had a similar exchange with a well-known and much loved Aussie musician. His answer, when I asked him, was also, "Fashion".

Why wear a sacred symbol and flaunt it so irreverantly? I would never wear a Hijab as a fashion item or a Yamaka to make a statement. I wouldn't dot my forehead with red dye or wear Buddhist prayer beads as bracelets.

A few years ago, I worked for a Catholic religious Order. Their symbol was a simple wooden Tau - a variation of a crucifix which represents St Francis of Assisi and the Order he founded. I was gifted one and wore it with pride. But, one individual who was associated with the Order, took offence to my wearing it. I stopped wearing it out of respect.

I'll end my rant here, but I'd just like to conclude by saying that symbols are important. Not only do they give one a sense of belonging, but they are sacred and represent something which goes deeper than just an adornment.

What do you all think?

Is it time to hang up my dancing shoes?

2012-01-17T12:18:00.001+11:00

WHEN I was 17, my two older sisters thought it was time to introduce me to "the nightlife".
As both my sister have very different musical tastes and also very protective, my initiation to this wonderful new world took two very different forms.
My eldest sister took me to watch some live Jazz at the Basement. I clearly remember freaking out that I was going to be asked for ID ( I was still only 17) and we would unceremoniously be rejected at the door despite my horrendously applied make-up. Why did I think bright red lipstick and fucshia eye-shadow would make me look older?
My stressing was for naught as my sister paid the cover, our wrists stamped and we were ushered into the dark club.
Instantly I was transfixed by the sounds, the smells, the clatter at bar, the myterious dark nooks were strangers were intertwined.
I felt as I had been given the key to a secret lair, one that has always been there but hidden and invisible from my young-adult eyes. I felt sophisticated, grown up.
Instantly I was besotted. And so began my love affair with live music.
Vince Jones was the act. I'd never seen the trumpet played live before. My sister had a big crush on him. As he got on stage, people extinguished their cigarettes (n.b back it the 90s, smoking was allowed in clubs. Vince Jones was probably one of the first who demanded a smoke-free environment at his gigs).
I was enthralled, but looking around at the 'cool crowd' I realised I'd have to mask my awe and transformed my 'eyes-ago and wide-open mouthed look' into one of cool indifference and nonchalance.
18 years later I still get a rush when I descend those stairs (although the venue has changed a bit ) and scope out the posters plastering the walls.
While I've seen some awesome acts there - including Sheila E - my biggest regret is not seeing Prince at the Basement. He preformed a 'secret' after show in 2003. I hate that I missed it.

My second intitiation by my slightly wilder sister was at a nightclub on Oxford street called DCMs. It was notorious for drugs and had the best techno music. It attracted people from all walks of life and was THE place to be seen.
Again, I was shit scared (being under-age) and terrified I'd be laughed at. I borrowed my sister's electric blue boob-tube and vinyl black pants. My sister was uber-cool and she just grabbed my hand, shot the beefy bouncers a look of disdain and walked in.
To say this was a culture shock would be an understatement. I was hit with a tidal-wave of bass, strobe lights pierced me tempting me to have a seizure. The concrete ground was sticky and my vision was obstructed by billows of cigarette smoke.
With a cigarette dangling from her mouth, my sister jumped on a podium and dragged me up. I had no idea what to do. So I danced.
Now, growing up in my naive sheltered little world, I thought when you went out to clubs, guys asked you to dance. Here, everyone danced alone. It was so liberating. As I looked around I saw girls with elfin haircuts dancing in circles. I saw Calvin Kline-esq shirtless guys with bleached hair and washboard abs adorned with body paint dancing with glowsticks. I saw two guys kissing. This was a first for me to witness and I just stared and stared. There were other firsts for me there including watching people do lines of coke, being offered 'E's' for $20 and dancing till I thought I'd collapse. We never, ever touched drugs, never drank a drop of alcohol, but smoked like chimneys. The water bottle was our best friend and so was the late-night pizza joint we would stop on the way home and inhale a family sized pizza in seconds.

The dichotomy of these two experiences was so vast. And yet, I loved both and loved that I had this special and unique relationships with both of my big sisters. How very fortunate I was - and still am.

Last weekend, I went to the Basement. The familiarity was comforting and brought back a flood of memories. The fresh faced bouncer asked me if I'd been there before. Doing a quick calculation in my head, I laughed and said I'd been watching gigs there for 18 years. His retort,

"That's how old I am!"

I wanted to be swallowed up by my bar stool. I could feel every one of my 'smile-lines' rise up on my face like a road-map of my life. Had I become that 'old woman' we'd spot at nightclubs, sitting alone and laugh at when we were 18?
For a fleeting moment, I considered not going out to gigs anymore. It lasted but a second and was soon shaken off like the remnants of a bad dream.

However much longer I have on this planet, I'll slap on the make-up, strap on my highest heels and open my ears to the sounds that move my soul.

Real estate agents - the bane of our society

2012-01-11T15:34:00.001+11:00

Did you leave school at 15?
Do you want to wear an ill-fitting suit everyday?
Have you got the people skills of a skunk?
Do you have any qualms with being creative with the truth?
Do you want to drive a $150,000 car and feel important?

If your answer was yes, yes, yes, no and yes, then I have the perfect job for you! Why don't you 'study' for 48hours and become a:

REAL ESTATE AGENT!!!

As you've probably gathered, I don't particularly like or hold much respect for these snake-oil salespeople.

I have dealt with my fair share of them to know they would push old women and children out of the way if there was a fire, just like 'George Costanza' (from Seinfeld).

I know it's unfair to paint then ALL with the same brush, but from my experience I find this breed of person to be greedy, dishonest, lacking scruples and slimy.

And, almost all of them fit into these categories:

THE SLEAZY PERV

Usually fat, middle-aged and balding. Often he has bad breath (you unfortunately know this because the offender finds every opportunity to encroach on your personal space) and has bathed in cologne. He'll warmly greet you, squish both your hand together in a disgustingly moist handshake - which you have to wrench yourself from - and lead you around the property hovering at your side and often place his (or her) hand nonchalantly on the small of your back. He (or she) will ignore your partner and shower you with idiotic compliments, such as, " I find women have better taste, they know what they want" while wiggling their eyebrows and sneaking in a wink.
This creature insists on getting your work number, mobile number, home number, email, birthday, address and making sure you have his (or hers) and repeatedly tells you to "call me anytime." He (or (she) also calls you within minutes of leaving the inspection to see how you liked it, then send you a friend request on Facebook. He (or she) will then continue to harass you at least twice a day.
The only way you will ever be free of this slimeball is by changing your number or moving to another country.

THE ARROGANT YOUNG THING

He or she will be at least 20 minutes late and arrive in the latest sport model car. They'll be yabbering on the phone, very loudly, and have the customary reflective aviator sun glasses on. Impeccably dressed - women in designer two piece suits, stilletos, Louis Vuitton brief case, hair coiffed, make-up expertly done and men in a smart grey sport suit, metrosexualed to the nines, pointy shoes, Louis Vuitton man-bag and hair glued into shape with a tub of product.
They'll ignore you, throw a brochure in your face turn around and jet off in their (leased) sports car. All while talking on the phone.
You'll never hear from them again and they won't ever answer their phones.

My husband punched one of these species in his fake-tanned face once.

THE JUNIOR

Flushed in the face and carrying a pile of paperwork, the Junior has just 'graduated' from being a property manager (i.e they collect rent and deposit it). Super keen, annoying with poor English they are wearing a suit which is shiny from too many pressings. At first, you feel sorry for them and humour them as they mispronounce words such as 'bidet' and explain to you that termites can't eat weatherboard. The problem with these young ones is they don't know anything. You can ask the most basic question and their answer will invariably be "Let me just check", "I'm not sure" "I'm not the agent, I'm just showing it for them." This experience will be an utter waste of time and will only result in having to meet with with either the above mentioned SLEAZE or ARROGANT excuse for a human.

Oh dear, my phone's ringing. Another agent returning my call. Another Saturday to look forward to of disappointing house inspections.

HELP ME!!!

Just call me "Mama Bird"

2012-01-05T12:05:00.000+11:00

I'm feeling a little clucky.

In less than four weeks, my littlest monkey will be starting big school. When I tell people this, most rejoice and exclaim, "Oh, lucky you, all three at school." But I have mixed feelings.
No more will I have a little hand in tow on "Mummy and Hope days" to hold onto through the car park, buy a happy meal for so I can steal the chips and listen to endless hours of ABC Kids program in the background as I cook up more yellow playdough.

My sister has even suggested I hold her back a year. I toyed with this for a few seconds, but mummy guilt barreled over those thoughts with one fell swoop.

She'll start school, love it, terrorise the kids, charm the teachers and learn very quickly which ice-blocks she likes most at the canteen.

For all those who think I'll have ALL this spare time now to have mini-facials and laser hair removal, think again. Mummy will have more uniforms to wash, shoes to polish, sight-words to run through EVERY night, a Deb Ball to prepare for, a zillion kids birthday parties to attend, more parents names to learn and which kid belongs to them, sports carnivals, fundraisers, and umpteenth "dates to remember".

If you have kids at home, relish this time. You don't have a certain time to get dressed by, have breakfast gobbled up, hair brushed, bags packed or the the inevitable splitting apart of little, squabbling girls who insist their sister has hidden their library books. When you have school-aged children, by the time 8.45am rolls round and you kick your kids out of the (sometimes still moving car) just in time for the bell, you're already exhausted.

Oh, and by the way, while doing all of this - choosing whichever outfit is least crumpled, taming the fraggle hair and trying to apply mascara without poking out an eye.

And once this mean feat is complete, arrive at work by 9am and to do an 8 hour shift.

Actually, please ignore the first few pars of this post, I take it all back. I do not feel clucky or sad, I am now having an anxiety attack over how the beepity-beep I'm gonna manage all this!!!

OK, someone hand me a brown paper bag and tell me to breath deeply .....

The Santa Dilemma

2011-12-16T12:57:00.003+11:00

When my husband was around 8-years-old, his older cousins - as older cousins do - decided to burst his Christmas bubble in the nastiest, most venomous way they could think of. A way in which guaranteed the little tyke would be scarred for life (well, for his childhood at least).
They told him Santa died. If that was not devastating enough, their tale continued to unravel, saying Santa died on his way, or soon after he arrived in Australia. To rub salt in the wound, they added that poor old St Nick's demise was brought upon by heatstroke.

Cruel, don't you think?

Yesterday, at the pre-school Christmas concert, the man in red made an appearance. All the little kiddies squealed in delight as he handed out gifts and lollies.
Except for Tara.
She covered her mouth, in an effort to conceal her whisper from her sisters, and said to me,
"He's not real."
I anticipated this and replied,
"Yes, I know. It is one of Santa's helpers. The real Santa is too busy in the North Pole."
"No mum, Santa is not real."

Putting on my best actor face, I asked her who she thought put all the presents under our tree last year.

"You did mum. You bought them all last year. I know this because Daddy knew how much my video camera cost."

I didn't know what to say, but shrugged my shoulders and told her that she was wrong. I said Daddy saw the camera at the shops, and we most certainly didn't buy it.
She didn't buy my answer.

I've tried to keep the Santa fable alive for my girls, knowing all too well they will eventually grow out of it, but I'm not ready. They're still too young.
I did however know it was a matter of time, especially since every year my mum dresses in her Santa suit on Christmas Eve. The kids aren't that clueless.

Picture this. We've come home from Midnight Mass, all 8 grandchildren are bouncing off the wall from a candy-cane induced high. Mum dons the suit - complete with full beard - escapes through the back door. Scales the side fence (she's 63 so this takes much effort) and runs up to the top of our street, in the dark. Armed with a big sack and pocketfuls of lollies, she starts, "Ho, Ho, Ho-ing" waking up our lovely neighbours throwing fistfuls of toffees into their yards.

By the time she reaches her house, the older grandkids (and us adults) are in fits of laughter. The younger ones are agog in amazement that Santa has a very woggy accent and sounds a little like grandma. She greets them all by name and hands them gifts. She also hands out a few slaps to the back of the heads of the older kids who proceed to exclaim, "You aren't Santa, you are TATA (grandma in Arabic)."
By this stage, she's dripping sweat, her beard is askew and her pockets are empty. Despite this, bless her, she continues with the charade and, now panting, trudges down to the end of the street to be enveloped by the darkness.
Sometime later, Mum miraculously appears back in the kitchen. I still don't know exactly how she gets back in without us seeing her. I think she has a ladder positioned somewhere in one of the neighbours' yard.

And so, as the years tick on, inevitably my girls are going to stop believing in Santa. But, I'll do my best to keep the magic alive for a little longer.

Hope's pre-school graduation

2011-12-16T11:32:00.002+11:00

This song was played at my baby's pre-school graduation yesterday.
I blubbered.
My girls laughed at me. Hope actually rolled her eyes. My husband took two steps away as my sobs increased from an inaudible sniff to a fully-fledged wail.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dsk5Qz5oEWo
Let's see how many dry eyes there are after you watch it.

Sleep - what's that?

2011-12-15T09:41:00.001+11:00

And now for my weekly whinge.

Last night was a shocker. And when I say shocker, I mean a three hour battle to get the girls to sleep.
If you have read early posts from when Tara was a baby, you'd see this pattern of bad-sleeping behaviour started from infancy. Hope is even worse. Every night, she crawls into my bed after disrupting Eden for hours.

I can't remember a night since the kids were born when it was an easy transition to bed.
In an effort to try a different tack, last night I used reverse psychology instead of the usual broken-down record, "go to bed, you've had a drink, you don't need to go to the toilet again. GET to BED. Stop swapping beds, stop talking, STOP fighting. GET TO F*&%ING BED."

And so, I told my eldest and youngest after an hour of bickering with my poor middle child, who just wanted to sleep, that they weren't allowed to go to bed.
I proceeded to plonk them both in the loungeroom and told them they were not allowed to sleep. I really thought this might work.

How wrong could I be.

What eventuated was a further two hour screaming match, crying, bellowing (my poor neighbours) and a draining, exhausting, emotionally painful battle.

At around 11pm, they both fell asleep on the floor of the hallway. Daddy transferred them both to their beds soon after. By this stage, I'd retreated to my bed, closed my door and cried myself to sleep.

I honestly thought I would have some small victory. The reality was that even though I had stuck to my guns and refused them to go back to their beds, it was one of the worst nights I'd had in a long time.
There is no solution. I've resigned myself to this fact. I've tried everything. Yelling doesn't work, compromise doesn't work, reverse psychology also was a flop, reward charts, blackmail, begging, NOTHING HAS WORKED. I've tried it all and I feel like a failure.

And, the biggest loser in this situation is me. They woke up this morning with no recollection of the torment they put me through last night. The guilt I feel for being angry at them, the feelings of incompetence - these feelings will haunt me all day.

The only hope I'm clinging to is that when we move to a bigger place, (hopefully soon) the kids will be more settled. I have nothing to base this one, but I'm totally spent.

The "un-joys' of motherhood!

Yawn.......

Stale bread

2011-12-14T09:56:00.001+11:00

As I was walking to work this morning feeling utterly sorry for myself due to a sore throat, I looked up to see a sight which broke my heart.
A sight I would have missed if I hadn't looked up from my begrudging stomp - mumbling to myself about having to leave my cosy bed.
An old man, quite possibly not all that old, but worn weary from a hard life, was scratching at a piece of stale bread he'd found discarded on the footpath. The way he was scratching at it with the vigour of determination could not have been interpreted in any other way - this man was starving.
Obviously he was trying to scrape off any filth, mould or rotten food on the stale bread and salvage whatever edible part he could, shovelling the crumbs into his mouth with lightening speed.
I hesitated, but did not stop. Looked at him, but did not gawk. The pity in my eyes would have embarrassed this man. Every person deserves to reserve some dignity.
What would it have taken me to offer this man a hot breakfast? McDonalds was just around the corner and a McMuffin meal surely wouldn't break the bank. But, 'I was due at work', I rationalised to myself. "He'd be embarassed', I thought.
I walked on.
100 meters away, I saw a gaggle of pigeons, scratching at some breadcrumbs. Just like that old man.
Surely, a man is worth than a pigeon.
I was consumed with guilt, but continued on my way.

Do I need to change the name of my blog?

2011-12-13T21:27:00.001+11:00

When I started this blog, I was totally engrossed - unashamedly so - with my first born. Many would say I still am!
But, it's not that I love Tara more than my two other children, Eden and Hope, it's just that in 2004 when she was born, I had transitioned. No longer was I just a girl, a journalist, and (recently) a wife, but I had a child. A child who made me look at myself in a completely different way, a new classification one might say.
Now, don't misunderstand me. I didn't become an all-knowing mother overnight. Hell, I've been a mum for nearly 8 years now, and I'd say, almost on a daily basis I'm confused, frustrated and struggling to know the right thing to say, the right way to react.
And, in no way is my experience unique to any other mother.
When I started this blog, I was Tara's mum.
7 years and 9 months on, I still am.

Facebook sux - I'm back

2011-12-13T16:45:00.002+11:00

Yes, Facebook has consumed my life. Since August 2008, (aka my last blog), I have ignored my followers and succumbed to the alluring beauty of Zuckerburg's rip-off of someone else's social platform.I now think I need an outlet for my creative juices which is not limited to the 150 character limit of status updates.Henceforth, I have reinstated my blog and hope you will dive into my literary foray once more.I'll keep you all posted!

Has it really been a year since my last post???

2008-08-18T14:28:00.002+10:00

I can't believe it has been a year since I posted last!
Damn facebook - so addictive!
Basically life is hectic, wonderful and fun..the girls have grown up so much and I'm NOT pregnant again! HAHAHHA
Tara is 4 and a half now, Eden is 3 and Hope is my little feisty 18 month old.
I'm back into Kickboxing - which I love - and bascially BUSY all the time.
But, that's life, and we have our health, family and wonderful friends.
Will post some new pics soon

NO NO NO NO NO! When you're two it's your favourite word!

2007-08-20T12:49:00.000+10:00

She looks sweet, doesn't she?
Well, our sweet, sweet Eden has turned into a screaming, tantum throwing, bullying, screeching stubborn 2-and-a-bit year old.
While she's still utterly edible, the "NO's" are really getting to me.
On an hourly basis, Tara and her have ear-pitching screaming matches I'm sure everyone within a 5km radium can hear them.
I think I need to invest in some wax earplugs!

'Tis the season to be sniffly!

2007-08-03T14:43:00.000+10:00

Having three little children to take care of (four including my husband) during this cough and cold period is, in a nutshell exhausting.

Runny noses, "mum, wipe my nose", fever "mum, i'm hot", runny noses "mum, i need a tissue NOW" is all I've been dealing with for the last week. The most disgusting thing is when they sneeze and two sausage shaped green slugs hang like algae, often past their rosy lips only to be licked up by greedy little tongues...mmm tasty.

The only saving grace has been a combination of Panadol, Nurofen and Dimmetapp (in my opinion, the best of the three as it knocks them out, only joking)
It's a good think doctor mum hasn't got the leurgy - hubby refuses to kiss me - or else I'd have to hire a nanny, or three.

Oh, I also had a nasty fall which resulted in a concussion and posible fracture of my (pride) elbow. And, for all those who know me, don't roll your eyes, I know I'm clumsy, but honest it wasn't my fault this time, the chair slipped. Another xray has been added to my mammoth pile.

On the book front, it's really steam-rolling ahead, a little scary yet exciting nevertheless.

That's about it, keep smiling and wear your face masks when you go out.

Hope Madeleine - You're now a Catholic! Happy Baptism

2007-07-22T10:30:00.000+10:00

We baptised our gorgeous third girl - and it was a beautiful day.
She was the perfect baby, and didn't even cry!
Pity about this shocking Sydney weather though, it was freezing and then pissed down as we left church. I don't know why I straightened my hair as I soon turned into a fraggle when the rain started to pitter-pattr down.
Anyway, enough of my hair dramas, here are some pics of the day.
Enjoy!

2007-07-22T09:35:00.000+10:00

Isn't she Stunning?

The death of the Good Samaritan

2007-06-18T11:06:00.000+10:00

How is it fair that a God Samaritan is shot dead in busy Melbourne CBD?
It isn't fair, and there seems to be no rhyme or reason.

For all those haven't heard, two strangers ran to the help of a young woman who was being pulled by her hair out of a cab when the assailant opened fire and shot the two men who came to the woman's help and herself as well. One of the men died at the scene, while the woman and the other man are in a critical condition. What a tragedy.
As I recalled the incident to my husband over the phone, he was just as shocked as I was, but also said,

"See, that's exactly why people do not come to the aid of other people."

I see his point, but I would still like to think that I would rush to help someone in trouble as long as it would not endanger my children - and I know my husband would not think twice before helping someone in need.

My prayers are with the families of those involved.

While the situations I have been in are no where as dire as a shooting, I have been in a situation where I needed someones help and everyone around me turned a blind eye. I was about 36 weeks pregnant and had driven myself to hospital one avo thinking I may be in labour. As I pulled into the Emergency Department carpark, I couldn't find a spot to park, except for a very tight spot which I could barely squeeze my commodore into. I didn't want to block the entrance as then I would stop the Ambulances coming in. Anyway , there was a burly middle aged man yakking on his mobile phone, his hire-car driver's side door open blocking me from swinging my car into the mini spot. So, I get out, clutching my swollen belly and ask him if he could move his car please as I think I'm in labour and can't get my car in the spot. Now, you would assume that he'd say, no problem, however the reality was this:

"You stupid, fucking woman, if you can't drive or park your car, you are a fucken idiot, now fuck off.''

He then returned, annoyed, yakking on his phone.

For the first time in my life, I was speechless. Tears of anger stung my eyes, but I didn't want to give him the pleasure of seeing me cry.I got back in my car and for a split second seriously contemplated putting my foot on the accelerator and ramming his car into oblivion, but I was pregnant and my baby's life was not worth this piece of shit chauffeur. There were plenty of people who heard what went on, and they just stood there gawking. After a few minutes, one man said he'd park my car for me, but by this stage, there was a free spot and I parked it in, my hands shaking. As I waddled to the Emergency doors, I walked past this poor excuse for a human and said to him that I thought he was the rudest man I had ever met. His response,

"Fuck off."

If my husband or dad or brother were there, they would have rammed his head through the windscreen and then he really would have needed medical help. I would have smashed his head in, but again being pregnant not worth the risk to my baby, you just never know how someone will react.

It's just so disappointing that so many people in this world are just horrible and mean.

I love this photo of Tara!

2007-06-13T11:36:00.000+10:00

40 years of Israeli Occupation

2007-06-04T13:37:00.000+10:00

This week marks 40 years of the remainder of Palestinian lands being illegally occupied by Israel.

It was 40 years ago when Israel illegally stripped more Palestinians of their right of a homeland, basic human rights and freedom.

This was the 6 day War of 1967.

Today, the world still turns a blind eye to the inhumane treatment of Palestinians - because they are are simply not recognised as Human.

And Oprah will be going as a sign of Solidarity to Jews on a tour of Israel. I thought she fought against oppression and crimes against humanity. I thought she was anti-Apartheid. I thought she built schools for poor African girls. Sorry, I forgot, Palestinian children don't matter, Palestinians aren't human.

I ask you to remember, to learn the truth, to stop occupation - of the mind, body and spirit. De-humanisation forces people to lose the will to live. Countless Palestinians have lost the will to live, many have simply ceased to live.

I know of one person who lived under occupation his whole short life. He took the only thing he had possession of - his life, extinguished his flame which had dwindled to an ember living under Israeli oppression.

And the wall still goes up!

If your in Sydney next Saturday - as a sign of solidarity of basic human rights join a peaceful rally asking the world simply to remember.

Saturday June 9
1pm
Sydney Town Hall 1pm

Hope to see you all there

Eden is 2! Happy Birthday baby

2007-06-02T12:46:00.000+10:00

My beautiful Eden turned two - it still astounds me how fast life zooms by!
She's an amazing child, affectionate, loving and CHEEKY! Everyone nick names her Sweet, Sweet Edee because she is so sweet and just edible! Here are some pics from her party.

Enjoy!

Do you want to be a chapter in my book??

2007-05-17T16:36:00.000+10:00

Ever since I was little, I knew I wanted to write. Short stories, poetry, comic books, plays etc etc etc.

And like most frustrated writers, I have a million unfinished books in my head - and for as long as I can remember, those closest and dearest to me have been urging to write these ideas down.

So, today as I was wiping my toddlers' runny noses, an idea hit me. I mean, my girls are a bit of this and a bit of that. Living in Australia, I'm lucky that it's such a multi-cultural society. Nearly everyone I know is either first or second generation Aussie. From across Europe and the Middle East, the common factor for parents or grandparents coming to Australia was for a better life.

I grew up surrounded by other 'wogs' who came from a country that existed: Italy, Lebanon, France. But, how about me? Palestine? Where's that? It doesn't exist.

I still struggle with my identity. I know who I am, but which part of me will I pass on to my girls? Am I more Australian than Arab? Would I be the same person if I grew up in the Middle East, US or UK? It's not a unique question by any stretch of the imagination, but I truly believe that Palestinians who live outside of the "Territories" may have a common bond and have struggled with the same questions about their identity. My own parents grew up In Jordan and have their own stories and issues.

So, I am calling on any person of Palestinian heritage who is willing for me to pick their brains and write their stories. These can be anonymous, just let me know if your interested or pass on to anyone you think may be.

Peace

More pictures....

2007-05-14T14:26:00.000+10:00

I don't have any inspiration to write anything, so thought I'd just post a beautiful pic of my gorgeous baby Hope!

ENJOY

She's all grown up - Tara's first day at Pre-school

2007-05-04T23:06:00.000+10:00

I've been umm-ing and ahh-ing about starting Tara into pre-school this year - or wait till next year. I was worried about whether she was too young and whether I'd actually find a space for her. You see, if you haven't got a baby you have no idea how hard it is to get a place into a pre-school. Waiting lists are over two-years long and it didn't help that we only moved into the area late last year. I did the preliminary call around a few months ago, and I either got one of two responses:

1)You've got to be joking, (followed by an hysterical giggle),

or

2) You can go one our waiting list, it will only cost you $3000 which is NOT refundable.

So imagine my surprise when I called this very highly recommended Kindy on Tuesday afternoon when the very nice woman said that ''YES, we have ONE spot left, the term starts tomorrow.''

I couldn't believe my luck! I ran down to the school armed with my $100 and Tara's immunisation records and got her enrolled. Now, when I think about it, I'm glad it all happened to quickly - I didn't have time to fret or get nervous, or chicken out.

The next morning, we drove to the Kindy ready for tantrums and tears.

It would have been nice if the little poo-head gave a SHIT about me!!!

I was so devastated. My hubby gave her a kiss and waved goodbye. She hardly gave him the time if day. I hung around for an hour, watching her, waiting for a breakdown. She completely ignored me, too engrossed in shoveling sand into a toy tractor. I sat back and watched, nervous to leave, my heart in my throat as the teacher introduced Tara to the class. With trepidation, I approached her, testing the water.

``Ok, mummy has to go now.'' I held my breath, waiting, waiting.
``Bye mummy,'' she said cooly, pushing me away, not even wanting me to slop a wet one on her pouty lips.

I stood there, DUMBFOUNDED for what felt like an eternity. Then turned my back and walked away.

My baby was growing up - and at the speed of light. I sat and bawled in the car. I suppose I should be happy. She was happy. I knew I had done the right thing. But it still stung that she didn't cling to me like the last rays of sun on a stunning summer day. I was proud - bursting actually - that I had raised such a confident girl. And, she had a ball. Ate all her lunch and morning tea (and like a good wog mum I not only packed her TWO lunch boxes but a stinky salami sandwich to boot), jumped up and down during rest time on the little cots and created a colourful crepe-paper-stuck-down-with-copious-amounts-of-glue art work which she was bursting to show her daddy.

When I picked her up, she spotted me in the car park before I even reached the playground. ''MUMMY" she screeched.

Is there any other word as beautiful?

Bonking Chimps and Elephant Poo

2007-04-29T20:56:00.000+10:00

From the title of this blog, I would forgive you if you'd assumed the subject matter was about the latest piece of pure top class television viewing (not!), i.e Big Brother. But, despite the titillating (and yes, I know that was a cheap shot) and edge-of-your seat drama that Big Brother is, my blog this evening is about a most pleasant family outing we had at Taronga Zoo.

The glorious Sydney Autumn morning - you know the type, streaming golden sunshine, picture perfect cloudless blue sky with just a hint of chill in the breeze - beckoned our little family out to enjoy what promised to be an awe filled ( for the babies) and exhausting (for me and hubby) day at the Zoo.

For those who aren't familiar with Taronga Zoo, it's an old animal house that's recently had a facelift. And, yes, the renovations and new Elephant sanctuary are world class. But, what I love most about Taronga Zoo is the breathtaking view from nearly every part of the park. Built at Mosman, it has arguably the best view of Sydney Harbour and the City Skyline. So, I suppose the astronomical amount of money you spend, in a way, is sort of justified for the old cliched million dollar view.

Pushing a double stroller and trying to contain my effervescent 3-year-old, we explored the zoo. Oh, and I forgot to mention, Taronga is the best place to lose a few kilo's of fat while tightening up those hamstrings. It's set on the hill and if it weren't for the cable car flying you back to the entrance, I dare say hundreds of tourists would perish and would no doubtingly supply an endless supply of fresh meat for the lone raggedy Lion.

Which brings me to the animals.

In essence, I don't agree with animals locked up purely for our viewing pleasure - that's what Big Brother is for (ok, another cheap shot). I know zoo's do a lot of good with conservation yada, yada, yada, but watching a big, black bear pace back and forth for HOURS on an elevated log like some deranged tightrope walker, begs one to ask if the animals aren't being mentally tortured. However, having voiced my moral outrage, I stood with all the other humans gawking at chimps indiscriminately bonking one another and finally understood how the creators of Big Brother found their inspiration! ( Ok, now I'm getting sick of my stupid Big Brother jokes).

I'm not a massive animal lover, but I do have a soft spot for Apes and Monkeys. I'm always in awe of the Giraffes - which Tara proclaimed as her favourite - and the Elephant's are cool. Eden loved the bird show and my hubby liked the Big Cats. One animal I really can't stand are stupid, ugly Koalas. Call me un-Australian, but I really, really hate Koalas. They are just too freaking weird! The way they sleep statue-like in trees (they don't even look real), they way they hiss and bark, and their rubbery noses almost make me want to vomit. Their babies look like maggots and their beady little eyes, are quite frankly - scary.

Anyway, despite paying $37 for two adult burgers, two kids burgers and four chips (yes, food vendors at the zoo think they can charge ridiculous amounts of money for slop which we hungrily swallow after walking for four hours), we had a marvellous day.

I hope the girls remember their first trip to the zoo, probably not, but just watching their wide-eyed expressions as they saw the animals of their picture books for the first time in the flesh, was priceless.

Introducing Hope - My third beautiful princess!

2007-03-06T14:04:00.000+11:00

Guess what?

I had a beautiful little, healthy girl on February 21 at 6.05am.

And, as you can see by the photo above, she really, truly is stunning.

I can't describe how wonderful I feel. I really anticipated with each bub, it would get a lot harder, but Hope is just the perfect little baby. I feel re-energised, happy and I still want to have more children. But, I think I'd better give my body a little break as having three kids under three is a handful (that's an understatement!). Plus, once we have another baby, I'll have to trade in my beast of a car - the other love of my life - and I'm not quite ready to drive a van.

As with my other two girls - Tara and Eden - I am completely in love and in awe of her. The girls just adore her. Eden has smacked her a few times and Tara has nearly smothered her with love on more than one occasion. But all in all, life is wonderful.

I am so truly blessed, I thank God everyday.

The final countdown

2007-02-16T14:59:00.000+11:00

With only 2 and a half weeks to go till I have my new baby, I'm sitting on tenderhooks.

It's not that I'm scared, well maybe a little, but it's the unknown of when it's going to happen. I wish I had a premonition of some kind and then I'd feel a lot more prepared.

Anyhow, I'm not blogging to whinge about how over I am being prego, I just wanted to let all of you know out there in Cyberworld that I haven't popped yet and will blog when I do.

Say a prayer for me......

A day at the beach

2006-12-01T22:10:00.000+11:00

Although these pics were taken two months ago, I thought I would post them.

I especially love the last one of my dad - its sooo corny! He's so funny.

Enjoy

I think Tara's allergic to our new place!

2006-11-30T17:17:00.000+11:00

I am completely distraught.

Tara broke out in hives - very mildly on Saturday and then again on Monday. But yesterday, she had a pretty bad reaction - so bad that she could hardly open her eyes. The swelling has JUST gone down - 24hrs later - and it was extremely distressing. I'm quite certain it's not a food reaction because I haven't changed her diet. So, Im guessing it something from outside - the grass, pollen, a plant, insects - or maybe even the carpet.

I have been so stressed and terrified that she's going to continue to have break-out until I see the Allergy specialist and have her tested. I'm trying to psyche myself up for this - a scatch test where various allergens are pricked onto her forearm. I'm so worried.

My poor baby.

We've finally moved

2006-11-27T17:05:00.000+11:00

Moving house is traumatic.

People warned me - they said it would be hard, exhausting and downright emotional. While, I imagined it to be all these things, I was still in for a big surprise.

Packing is exhausting (especially more so when you are six months pregnant!), but the hardest thing was leaving behind all the memories. I know I whinged a lot about the lack of space etc etc etc, but it was my first place out of home, the first place my hubby and I lived after we married and of course it was where the girls were both conceived and spent their earliest days.

But, having said all that, I am glad we moved and we have all settled in really well. Jeff has to travel a bit further for work, but we are all much more relaxed. And my darling sister and her family are literally around the corner. The girls love seeing their cousins nearly every day and my sis has already come to my rescue a dozen times these last two weeks.

I just hope our tennant is taking care of my purple place!

My first Grey hair

2006-11-03T15:05:00.000+11:00

For all those who know me, I'm pretty vain about my hair

I whinge a lot about it the curls being a pain, but my crowning glory is probably my best feature (when the regrowth isn't showing, that is.)

Anyway, I've had hair dramas since giving birth to Tara. During the pregnancy it was full and long and just gorgeous.

My sister warned me not to get too attached to it.

Being a hair expert, she had seen a plethora of post-pregnancy women in hysterics as clumps of their locks had fallen out and they had to succomb to a crew cut.

Lo and behold, three months after Tara-girl was born, my hair starting falling out. Lucky for me, however I was soon pregos again with Edee and it was thick and lustrous again - and I tried a new colour.

However, the worst was yet to come.

Three months after Eden was born, my hair started falling out BIG TIME. Clumps would fall out in the shower and I would scream for my hubby to come in and check for bald spots. My hair line thinned out pretty quickly but I was loath to cut it, hanging on for sheer life to the ragged length of copper hair which now resembled an unbrushed horse mane.

I had always promised my hubby I wasn't going to be those women who, when they got married would chop off their femininity after becoming a Mrs and a Mum.

So, when I fell pregant this year, I waited the obligatory three months to colour it, and went for the chop - and changed colour yet again. I cried and yearned for the long locks. While my darling sister only cut the bare minimum, I felt naked without it. It wasn't that short - just below my shoulders - but to me it was akin to boy's hair.

I soon got over it. It its much healthier and growing (thanks to oestrogen) at a record pace.

Which leads me to the subject of this blog. It has grown so fast, I had to get it coloured again this week.

Usually a pain free exercise, this colour session was a nightmare.

My sister found a grey hair!

It was devastating, and I'm not exagerating. She yanked it out by the root and tossed it haphazardly at me. I was in tears. I have kept the hair, which is half snow white and half bright red. Gosh, I'm really feeling old.

My predictions are coming true, my husband is going to send me grey. Now for my next prediction to come true - the kids are going to send me to the loony bin.

Watch this space.

Any Aussie musos looking to break the US market?

2006-10-19T09:22:00.000+10:00

So,
my wonderfully talented big sis has finally launched her new website and new offices in LA for her music management company. The clever chicken has offices now in NY, LA and Sydney.
Check out her website and pass it on to any aspiring musicians/artists.

Peace

http://www.firewiremusiccompany.com

A new TV show

2006-10-17T12:06:00.000+10:00

I was watching racist people on TV last week - aka Survivor Cook Islands (if you are not familiar with this latest Survivor, the 'tribes' are split into ethnic groups - Asian, Black, Hispanic, White) and it got me thinking about developing my own reality show.
I had a few ideas swirling around in my brain, but the idea finally came together while I was watching fat people on TV last night - aka The Biggest Loser.

CANNIBAL ISLAND
30 fat people are stranded in Papua New Guinea. No food, no animals, a few cannibal natives and of course a TV crew who enjoy a buffet lunch every day. The fat people are split between obese and super obese and sleep standing up lest they stop breathing in their sleep.
As the days go by, their sole task is to stay fat as the person who loses the most weight is voted off. They spend most of their days lying around like beached whales.
But here's the twist.
After the torch extinguishing, the rest of the survivors gather round, lasso the banished one and cook him/her rotisserrie style while the natives give them cooking tips. Every morsel of human flesh is eaten. The contestants fight for the fatiest meat as they don't want to be cooked next.
This continues until only one person is left. He/She is then given the reward. Not a million dollars, but a lifetime membership into the PNGCS - better known as The Papua New Guinea Cannibal Society which promises a lifetime of human meat for free!

I'm sure the networks will jump at the opportunity to broadcast such groundbreaking TV. Can you imagine the spin-offs? Cannibal Island - The Wedding where the guests are eaten, Cannibal Island - The Bachelor where the unsuccessful/ugly contestants are roasted? I can see loads of potential, can't you?

My beautiful girls

2006-09-29T14:48:00.000+10:00

I know everyone thinks their children are the most beautiful kids in the world, but I'm not like everyone else, I KNOW mine are!
Seriously, all children are beautiful, and the biggest blesssing is that of a healthy child.
Here are some pics I couldn't resist but share.
Enjoy

Pregnant Again!

2006-09-19T11:45:00.000+10:00

OH MY GOD, has it been five months since I blogged last?

It feels like a lifetime ago.

So much has happened - the most exciting being the subject of this blog - and yet I feel as if it has only been five days.

Well, a quick recap would go along the lines of this;
Got a great job at Australian Associated Press (app 3-4 days a week)
Eden turned 1 (and only started walking three weeks ago - lazy bum)
I got knocked up again (vomiting, vomiting and more vomiting)
I turned 30 (yibkes! And couldn't do the three things I always wanted to do on my 30th - get drunk, get a tattoo, smoke a pack of cigarettes)
Tara turned 2-and-a-half is a the cheekiest, most adorable little angel/devil who refuses to be toilet trained.
And,
STILL haven't moved house. This will have to happen very, very soon as I'm sure I will go completely bananas (ok, already am) if I have to live there much longer.

I hope I haven't lost all of my readers, but I suppose this is the quickest way to let all the people I know that I'm up the duff. While, I'm totally ecstatic about having another baby, you wouldn't believe the reactions I've got from 99% of people I have told. I can honestly say only a handful have said ''congratulations'' when they first found out, the majority getting a look of horror on their faces and exclaiming quite loudly ''OH, MY GOD''. This, to say the very least is EXTREMELY disheartening. All one is supposed to say is, God Bless or Congrats. A running commentary about how CRAZY I must be, or that I'm going to be busy (duh Fred) is completely unwanted and unwarranted. It's not like I'm having my 25th child! And even if I was, it's really no-ones business, so there!

And anyway, aren't I doing just what our esteemed Treasurer has asked of us? ``One for mum, one for dad and one for your country''. I is a true blue Aussie I is.

Now, I've got that little tirade out of my system, I'd better get back to work.
I promise not to leave it five months before I blog again.

Love and Kisses,
H

A diamond jewellrey package and a wink from Larry

2006-04-21T22:01:00.000+10:00

What a WHEELY good time I had tonight!

So, I have fulfilled one of my life long ambitions, to go on Wheel of Fortune! I didn't however make it to the final round (the champ was too good and I spun up a Lose a Turn) but, I solved one puzzle and got a diamond package! Woo hoo. It was really fun, and I'd recommend everyone to have a shot (c'mon it's not brain surgery). Even Darp came along to cheer me one!

And my little girls got to be on TV! Too cute! All the camera men/crew thought tara and Eden were delicious, even Deeks-ie tried to feed Eden her din dins. Ohhh, Bless

Will keep you posted as to when the episode will be on air so you can check out how HOT I look.

My Ultimate fantasy

2006-04-12T13:21:00.000+10:00

Now, before your little lascivious minds start thinking that I'm some sort of sexual freak writing about my ultimate fantasy, anyone that knows me knows exactly what my dream is.

To meet PRINCE

I fantasize about what I'd say to him, what I would do, how I would react. I think about it while I'm washing the dishes, shaving my legs and even when I'm eating. I concoct little scenarios in my head, even sometimes act them out out loud in front of the mirror. (No, I'm NOT schizophrenic)

Now, everyone knows, that Prince has offered some lucky buggers a chance to meet him and attend a private concert in his home. I literally swooned when I heard this.

For those who don't know, Prince hid some purple tickets in his new album 3121 (a la Charlie and the chocolate Factory). I didn't get one.

But, last night on Rove live, a competition was announced where you had to say why you are the biggest Prince fan and what you would do to meet him.

Naturally, I entered. And a bloody good entry it was.I have never won anything in my life (except for Bingo on the odd occasion). But I'm a nice eperson, so I'm hoping Karma will smile on me and give this chance of a lifetime,

Oh Prince, I love you so!

2006-04-10T12:11:00.000+10:00

Pretty sisters!

Top dollar!!!

2006-04-07T11:50:00.000+10:00

Spin the Wheel!

I passed the second audition yesterday and they said I would be put on a 12 month waiting list, so imagine my surprise when I got a call today asking me to be on the show on the 19th of April!
WOO HOO
I knew Wheel of Fortune wouldn't be able to resist my exuberant personality and stunning model looks.

So, I'll be on as a stand-by on the 19th and if I don't get on, I'll definitely be on Friday the 21st.
If anyone wants to watch me win a car call 1800 24 77 77 and reserve your tickets! The seven studio is in Epping so I hope to see you all there!

I'm SOOOOOO excited!

Make sure to make some cardboard signs

Wheel of Fortune here I COME!

2006-03-21T10:24:00.000+11:00

Can I have a C for Constable?

Guess what? I passed the audition! YEAH. Now, all i have to do is pass the second trial run (piece of cake) and then I'll be one my way to winning; a holiday, a cutlery set, drum kit, kayak and a CAR.
I really, really, really hope I get on within the next couple of months. I watch the damn show twice a day so I'm pretty good.
I'll be asking for a T for Tara and buying an E for Eden naturally. I just want to win a holiday, I don't care where.
Will you keep you all posted as to when I'll be making my TV debut.

HAPPY 2ND BIRTHDAY

2006-03-02T23:05:00.000+11:00

Can you believe two years have gone by?

My beautiful Tara is 2 and still amazes me every day.
Her favourite word is NO (isn't every toddlers?) and she loves telling people she's TWO and holds up five fingers.

Every day is an adventure, every day she does or says something that makes me cry with laughter and want to scoop her up and smother her in kisses.

I am truly blessed.

My other gorgeous wonderful daughter is stunning, has four teeth now and commando crawling.

Am I the luckiest woman on earth? I think so

2006-03-02T23:03:00.000+11:00

Princess Tara

2006-03-02T23:00:00.000+11:00

Yummy cake!

2006-03-02T22:57:00.000+11:00

My gorgeous, beautiful niece

2006-03-02T21:59:00.000+11:00

Smiling Eden

2006-03-02T21:42:00.000+11:00

My three irresistable nephews at Tara's Party

Want to check out some great music?

2006-02-22T21:31:00.000+11:00

Okay, so I might be biased, but if you want to hear an awesome, original singer/songwriter check out my big sis Koo tomorrow night at Bondi. It might be the last time she plays in Sydney before she heads back to New York where she'e a mega star. bDetails below:

Mocean (opposite the Bondi Beach)
34a Campbell Parade
Cover charge : $10

LINE UP:
8.15 Grant Lindonb
9.00 Declan Kelly
9.45 Koo
10.30 Barebones

Hope to see you all there

If you would like to laugh....

2006-02-20T14:27:00.001+11:00

This might be the laziest post I have written, but I'm really busy today, but have been pestered by friends to blog more.
So, I'm going to point you in the direction of some funny things that have happened to me since becoming a mum. They weren't funny at the time, but now I find them quite hilarious

http://tarasmum.blogspot.com/2004/11/babies-are-smarter-than-you-think.html

http://tarasmum.blogspot.com/2005/05/have-you-ever-noticed-how-little.html

Enjoy

P.S To all you lazy readers, blogging is a two way street. LEAVE SOME COMMENTS

Kiss kiss

Still looking for a part-time job

2006-02-18T22:06:00.000+11:00

How's this for a laugh

I applied for a journalist role at the....
wait for it.....
you're gonna piss yourself....

The Australian Jewish News!

I suppose this is my own little social experiment. I bet I get a standard, ''Thanks but not thanks'' rejection. I even stated my expertise in Palestinian - Israeli issues.

On a serious note however, how exciting would it be if I actually got a call back. That Editor would have to have balls. I think his name is Goldberg or Spielberg or, Katz or something like that.
Will let you know how I go. P.S I'm not anti-semitic.

On a completely different topic. The Bali 9. If the Australian government - and specifically John bloody Howard - don't do something (and when I mean something I mean STOP the executions) this travesty of justice, this barbarous event will be one the darkest, bloodiest blotches in Australian history.
John Howard - pull your finger out. Telling ``young Australians'' not to import drugs is NOT enough.

Now on another completely different topic.

The Biggest Loser T.V show.
I have been watching this all week and really have found myself scratching my head - especially tonight as I sat stuffing my face with Dominos Pizza and Coke Zero. It was something my husband said. Did these fatty boombaladas just wake up one morning at 30000 kgs and say, ''ohh I'm fat. How did I get to this size.''
Seriously FOUR words
LESS FOOD MORE EXERCISE

That's my two cents tonight, I hope you enjoyed reading.
And from one cheesy person to another (Go on, you all love Johnny Young)
``Close your eyes and I'll kiss you..
Goodnight Australia.

2006-02-17T22:05:00.000+11:00

Okay, so I promised last post I would catch all my readers up to speed - but I lied. Well, I had ever intention, but life has a way of getting the better of you. In a nutshell this is what's been going on the last 2 and a half months:

Three trips to the Emergency Room - Tara falling down the stairs resulting in a pulled elbow. She also gave herself a paper cut to the eye (don't ask) and one trip for me. I broke my pinky toe. Now before you laugh, it freakin hurt like billy-o and it's now a demented shape. My 12th broken bone. You should have seen the radiologist's eyes pop out of his head when he was handed my file. I told him I was accident prone - they think my husband bashes me.

Christmas and New Year - need I say more? Thank God for Ebay where I did all my Christmas Shopping.

A bout of icky toddler diahhreah, one high fever (Eden's first) and a friend's 30th Birthday party. My gorgeous angel Eden is still not crawling, but does this stomach-shimmy and roll to get about. She's so chubby cute, I just want to eat her thighs.

Ohh and let's not forget no sleep. I've had that many hairy nights e.g both Tara and Eden waking at 1am and falling asleep at 5.30am I'm ready to run straight into a brick wall and knock myself out.

I do have one major thing I'm looking forward to.
TARA'S 2ND BIRTHDAY

Can you believe it? I'm super excited as we are taking her and her cousins to an indoor playcentre to just run amock. She can now put five word sentences together (a little genius like her mum) and has been practicing all week how she's going to blow out her candles at her ``PAR-TEEE''

And I'm also super excited about another big event coming up. A really dear, sweet friend of mine who relocated to the States a few years ago is coming home to get married. I CAN'T WAIT to see you Aff-faces (she knows who she is).

Okay, I'll go check the buggers are still in bed and then I'll post again. I have so much I want to write. Eden has rolled off my bed twice in two weeks. Lucky she's chubby. She just bounced back up.

Some recent pics

2006-02-16T22:37:00.000+11:00

Beautiful Tara

Stunning Smiley Eden

Me and my hubby on New Year's Eve

Just wanted to share some recent pics of the last couple of months

Hamas won the election?

2006-01-27T12:29:00.000+11:00

OK, I'm back

Full rewind later.

But, I really don't have time to blog right now, but I just couldn't help jotting down a few words on the Palestinian elections.

HAMAS won?

Surprised? No, not really. Well a little. I need to contemplate this major change before I can write anything that makes sense.

I suppose people have been growing more and more disenfranchised with FATAH.

Anyway have to run, I promise to update. In the meantime, please feel free to leave a comment.

Merry Christmas!

2005-12-22T11:23:00.000+11:00

Merry Christmas!

I know this is a few days early, but I just couldn't resist!
Aren't my little reindeers gorgeous?

I love being a mum

Wiggly Wiggles

2005-12-21T22:42:00.000+11:00

Imagine this,

Tara, Eden, myself, my sister, her three boys (all under the age of seven) and about 10,000 other screaming kids at the Entertainment Centre - and NO pram.

So, we took the kids to the Wiggles Concert as an early Christmas present on Monday, and I can honestly say, NEVER AGAIN! Not that it wasn't a good show (except for Greg Wiggle, that's the yellow one, having just had a hernia operation and couldn't wiggle much at all) but I was SO damned exhausted by it all it took me three days to get over my migraine. Thank God my sis left her baby at home or we both would've had to grow another set of arms each to hold our kids sticky little hands.

And, to top it all off, you'd think Tara would LOVE the show. She watches the four dancing dudes every morning, but alas, as soon as the lights dimmed, Tara completely FREAKED out, covered her ears, crawled into my sister's lap and.. wait for it....

FELL ASLEEP!!!

Yes, you read it right. My little ball of energy, my fast re-charge battery Tara who has NEVER slept for more than 30mins during the day and a max of four hours at night (I'm baffled as to how she does it. This morning she woke at 5.30am and is STILL not sleeping) fell asleep during the super-noisy performance.

I was completely dumb founded! I wouldn't believe it if I hadn't seen it with my two eyes. She preferred to sleep than watch the prancing and the dancing and the RIP OFF MERCHANTS! Which leads me to my second biggest gripe of the day. The merchandise was so bloody expensive. Would you believe that a single helium balloon was $10! Yes TEN DOLLARS for a stupid balloon that would either fly away once we left the show or deflate within a day of getting home. What amazed me even more were the stupid parents who bought them for their whiney kids. No joke, almost two-thirds of the kids had a balloon - and a t-shirt, flashing cup, Dorothy dinosaur tails, captain feathersword wands (and the list goes on).

Anyway,
On a COMPLETELY different track, my beautiful Eden angel said her first word! She's been babbling for a couple of days now, but she actually said DA DA (which was also Tara's first word). As usual, the mum is always second best in the eyes of little girls.

Rally anyone?

2005-12-15T16:25:00.000+11:00

For all those who want to be a part of something positive in light of the recent riots, a rally has been organised for this Sunday, December 18. Below are the details.

Hope to see you there!

I'll be the one pushing the double pram, waving Aussie, Croatian and Palestinian flags while bribing Tara with chocolate so she'll stay put.

The Unite Against Racism Rally

WHEN: Sunday 18th December 2005

TIME: 1pm

WHERE: Town Hall Square

The rally will make it's way to Belmore Park where there will be a number of speakers, celebrities and sports people from varied cultural and religious groups.

For more info, visit

Darpism

2005-12-15T00:28:00.000+11:00

Smiley, Chubby Eden

I haven't posted any pictures of my beautiful girls in AGES, so I thought I'd lighten up the mood of my blog and share some of my recent favourite pics.

They are both growing up SO fast, sometimes it's hard to imagine that I'm a mum to TWO babies. Tara is super-duper intelligent and completely charismatic. Everywhere we go, people stop to chat to her. Eden is such an little angel, the perfect baby. On solids now, she is even (finally) sleeping through the night. She has a calm and soothing demeanor, utterly lovable.

Can I be even more soppy? I'm allowed to, their mine

2005-12-15T00:27:00.002+11:00

Tara hard at work!

2005-12-15T00:27:00.001+11:00

Beautiful Eden

2005-12-15T00:27:00.000+11:00

Beautiful Tara

The Irony of Ironies

2005-12-12T23:14:00.000+11:00

How's this for Ironic?

As I was taking Tara and Eden out for lunch today, I came across two youths of ``Middle Eastern Appearance'' selling raffle tickets to raise money for Surf Life Saving Australia.

I bought $20 worth.

Ha!

P.S Having been bombarded today by images of violence from the riots at Cronulla on the TV, I became more and more angry at the one sided coverage of the news. I did not see ONE SINGLE person of Middle Eastern Appearance interviewed and asked their views at the scene of the violence. One broadcast on channel 7 did however cut to a young Arabic looking guy of about 20 who was watching what was going on in Brighton. The pearls of wisdom coming out of his mouth? ``Ohh MY Gawddd''. Just another blatant way in which the Australian media portray those who are not ``Aussies'' as ineloquent, second class and not worth listening to. Keysar Trad from the Islamic Friendship Association of Australia seems to be the only Lebanese-Australian contact that ALL media outlets have.

I'm Disgusted!

2005-12-12T10:44:00.000+11:00

To quote an Aussie icon.....

SHAME, SHAME, SHAME.

I'm disgusted, appalled, scared, angry and horrified by the actions of my so-called fellow Australians.

But, I'm not shocked or surprised.

What happened at Cronulla and then subsequently at neighbouring suburbs Brighton, Maroubra etc makes me BOIL. To all those people who believe Australia is a fair and racist-free country, they are COMPLETELY deluded. This farce of MULTICULTURALISM is just a catch phrase, a loosely thrown around word which people hide behind in an effort to mask their true racist feelings.

Now, before I go on, I would like to first make it clear where I stand.
Violence is WRONG, there is NO excuse for humans to act like animals. I do not condone what happened firstly to the surf lifesaver, nor to the THOUSANDS of racists that came out en force yesterday to `protest' nor the retaliatory strikes later that night.

However, there is blame to place. The police, the media and more generally the culture of Australia. Oh, and the individual idiots who actually SPECIFICALLY went out for a fight. Let's not kid ourselves, the 5000 strong crowd did not go out to protest in a positive, nationalistic manner.

Police
They knew there was going to be a riot. Why the hell weren't they were better prepared? Why didn't they stop the massive crowd from disintegrating into such a disgusting pack of animals? Why weren't they more vigilant with banning alcohol on the beach? Why didn't they use fire hydrants or some other means rather than tiny bottles of capsicum spray (which are only effective on 1 person at close range)? They are pathetic! They looked like a bunch of scared pussys.
Which leads me to ask. Did they want this to happen? Everyone knows (even though I'm not from the Shire) there have always been racial tensions in the area.

Media
As a (former) member of the Australian press, the Media have the job to report factually, not to ESCALATE or INFLAME. They have a responsibility not to use terms such as MIDDLE EASTERN APPEARANCE, or LEBANESE Youths! The language is wrong, the language fuels hatred. It pisses me right off that they use these terms. It paints a picture that these gangs have been imported right from Lebanon. I was born here, however, because I am of Middle Eastern Appearance, does it mean that this is how I will always be described? Not as an Australian even though this is who I am?

Culture
Racism is alive and rampant in Australia. I have always been aware of it (ever since I was first called a WOG at the age of 6) and have on numerous occasions been a target of it. I see it everywhere I go, am aware of it when sales assistants serve my mum (who has been here since 1971) with a smirk and a ``couldn't be bothered attitude'' because of her accent, when people speak to my dad with patronising words and tones dripping off their tongues, when my brother is set upon by three police brandishing batons because of his looks, when my sister is at a fast food restaurant with her beautiful children and told by middle aged women that ``it's people like you who hold up the line''.

It's not fair, and I live with it, like most people I know.

However, the difference is that I would not act like an animal and bash a complete stranger.

How do we change people's attitudes? It starts with the parents, teachers (who at my school called those who weren't Anglo-Saxon ETHNICS - brandishing the word as if it was a swear word) and then the Media, the GOVERNMENT. I always find it ironic how ``Australians'' selectively embrace parts of other cultures - tabouli, stir frys, kebabs, pasta, red wine - but then lump all WOGS in one pile as soon as there is any violence or anti-social behavior. It makes me sick.

I'm proud of my heritage, I'm proud of my country Australia.

I'm scared for my children, I don't want them to be targets or feel like second rate citizens. To all those at the riot at Cronulla who were waving the Australian flag, you are an INSULT. Do not hide behind it and use it for your racist actions and words. To those IDIOTIC fuckwits who burnt the Aussie flag, shame on you - you should be locked up.

To everyone else, do not let ignorance and hatred rule. It's quite easy actually, common respect goes a long way.

Be prepared Sydney for revenge attacks.

Van Nguyen - less than 24 hours to live

2005-12-01T10:39:00.000+11:00

I can hardly write this post without wiping tears from my eyes and clearing the lump in my throat.

When did it become okay to kill? Isn't it the biggest contradiction in terms that those who are charged with either possessing drugs that could potentially kill or who murder are then killed themselves? This 25 year boy, who should by any right live at least another 50 years will have his life taken - not by a higher being - but by another man. And, in such a cruel and inhumane manner.

How can any sane person support capital punishment? Singapore, who many believe is a liberal, advanced country has shown its true colours to the world. Barbarians! And to add even more insult to injury, his mother has not (at the time I'm writing this) even been given the opportunity to touch her son, to hold him, console him. The son she carried in her womb, laboured and gave birth to. This is WRONG! Maybe, because I am a mother now, I feel the pain even more deeply, more intensely. But, I also know there are millions of people like myself who are shocked and appalled by members of this human race.

I'm praying, as are many, that there will be an 11th hour reprieve.

Lord, let him live, don't let him hang

P.S I know there are many other people who have been put to death around the world (999 in the United Sates alone since 1976), I know this case is not unique and every life is precious.

Spitting Soccer players

2005-11-16T11:54:00.000+11:00

Why is it that every time the SBS camera man did a close up of one of the players tonight (Socceroos vs Uruguay) the guy was spitting out a big, fat goli?

It's so freaking gross the way these guys conjure up these spitballs through their nasal passages, deep down from the back of their throat to the tips of their tongues and then launch the saliva-ry mess -with great accuracy may I ad - on to the carpetty grass.

I'm not a fan of soccer (sorry, Football), I think I've watched about 5 games in my life. I wouldn't know the difference between a penalty and a corner. But I thought it would be a great bonding moment with my husband (not a massive fan either but used to play state league) - and it was. I have a new appreciation for the guys - well maybe not appreciation for their skills but definitely for their looks. Not pretty boy Kewell or gigantic Balkan Zelko Callac but for dreamy-greeny eyed John Aloisi. I reckon he's HOT and has a really cute ass.

My husband thinks I'm mental.

I'm really happy for the Socceroos. It was great they won, especially since Viduka missed that goal at the end. It was so funny to read his lips after he missed it (for all those who speak Cro) it was easy to see what he yelled ( Picka te Materna - Mother C***). I'm no prude, but Cro's really can swear - and with such vim.

Anyway, watching the match got my hubby talking about how when he used to play in a team of other north shore Croats (he was a leftback) he'd punch the guys in the kidneys. Charming. My husband is not excatly a small guy, but he is very sweet, so the mental image of him digging his fists into some little guys kidneys made me laugh. After all, he is a Cro. I suppose it was karma his soccer career ended after he snapped his leg while playing the World Game. Which, in a way is good as I really can't imagine myself falling in love with a spitting soccer player, I prefer my wrestling honey.

I believe in the power of prayer

2005-10-26T10:47:00.000+10:00

One of my best friends in the world is undergoing surgery this morning to remove a malignant tumour.

This friend of mine is more like a sister. She has always been there for me, ever since I was four years old. She has been there through all my joyful times and my woeful times. She has been a consistent force of love in my life. She needs your prayers.

Whether you believe prayer has the power to heal, I implore anyone reading this blog to take 2 minutes and just send a positve thought, a quiet prayer for health.

Thank you

2005-10-22T10:54:00.001+10:00

Is this Gumby?

2005-10-22T10:54:00.000+10:00

... or is this Gumby?

I'm not a huge fan of Australian Idol, but what gives me a great deal of hilarity is the way James Mathieson (one of the hosts) reminds me of Gumby.

Next time you watch the show, take extra note and notice just how he just DOES NOT BLINK!
It's quite funny.

What a Gumby!

2005-10-15T00:52:00.000+10:00

Ralph Wiggum MP

Separated at Birth?

2005-10-15T00:42:00.000+10:00

Actor Richard Attenborough, ''Roger Bartlet'' The Great Escape
I was watching the Great Escape tonight (for the millionth time) and I couldn't help but chuckle at the striking resemblance between my local MP (see below) and Richard Attenborough. That goofy smile, big teeth and googly eyes! If I only I can dig up a picture of Robbo in his Army Reserve uniform - they'd look like twins.

On the other hand, my husband thinks Anthony Roberts looks more like Ralph Wiggum from the Simpsons. HE HE HE

2005-10-15T00:41:00.000+10:00

Anthony Roberts, Lane Cove MP

Tara the Terrible's Toddler Tantrums

2005-10-14T09:53:00.000+10:00

I came really close to losing it in Woolworths the other day.

Picture this, I'm laden down with groceries, have a chubby four-month old in the baby bjorn carrier, and a screaming (yet somehow still gorgeous) toddler screaming bloody murder. Her problem, she didn't want to sit back down into her pram. Do you know how hard it is to put a struggling, very feisty toddler into her pram, and strap her down? Everyone was staring at me , tsk tsk tsking, shaking their heads and mumblilng something about me being the worst mum on earth. While I kept a serene smile on my face and kept calling her ''Princess'' I really wanted to smack her and call her a little shit. Thank God for small graces, a nice lady helped me put the now beetroot faced Tara into her pram who was by now wailing ''daddy - Tara'' over and over again at the top of her lungs. If it wasn't for the curls we share, people might have thought I 'd abducted her from her father. My wish at that moment was that her daddy was the stay-at-home and I was somewhere, anywhere else. I would have even wanted to be a Checkout Chick.

Today, we're taking her to see Bananas in pajamas. Let's hope we don't have another meltdown

Sigh!

I have an addiction

2005-10-04T15:02:00.000+10:00

You may be wondering where I have been.

Well, I've discovered something that gets my pulse running, my adrenalin pumping, gives me a sense of euphoria - but is highly addictive.

it's Ebay.

While I know I'm pretty slow in discovering this wonderful past time, I love it! The danger is that I've already won two items and am currently bidding on another 15! Uh-oh I know I should have lowered the limit on the credit card.

Is there an Ebay Anonymous out there? I may have to start up a support group.

You're Baptised!

2005-09-28T23:52:00.000+10:00

Beautiful Eden

I can't believe we have Christened our second child! It feels amazing and surreal that so much has happened over the last 18 months.
Eden Monica (her new name) was so perfect on Sunday! She didn't even cry and looked absolutely adorable as you can see from the above pic. She looked just like a porcelain doll. It was a lovely day, a beautiful ceremony. We kept it very small - and if it was up to me, it would have been even smaller, but c'est la vie.
The important thing is that my baby is now Christened, and that's all that matters to her dad and I.

I wanna have more babies!

P.S Have started job hunting for a part-time job. I need something to get me out of the house a couple of days a week.

Hypocrisy

2005-09-20T23:07:00.000+10:00

My ultimate job would be to work for the ABC's Foreign Correspondent

This top rate current affairs broadcast is one of my all time favourites. Tonight, I caught the tail-end of a segment on the inter-fightings of the Christian Church in Jerusalem. Being a girl of faith and also having the supreme honour of saying my family hails from this most holy of holy places in the world, I was left embarrassed and stupified at the hypocrisy of these supposed ''holy men'' of the Church.

Let me try to simplify the situation.

The Church of the Holy Sepulchre in Jersusalem (which is built on the site where it is claimed the crucifixion and resurrection of Jesus took place) is divided into sections where the different Christian denominations - Greek Orthodox, Catholic, Armenian, Syrian, Egyptian Coptic and Ethiopian worship. Now it is no secret each believes they are superior to the rest, but the war between the Egyptian and Ethiopian Copts takes the cake.

While, I do not claim to know the reasons behind this feud, what has taken place between these two sects is pathetic. As I was watching the segment, I was burning in shame and anger at how the leaders of these two have carried on. Now, I'm not talking about name calling but physically bashing the brains out of the other. Greyed and long bearded monks (most quite elderly) hitting their ''enemies'' with iron bars, sticks and bricks. One Egyptian monk was saying how an Ethiopian bashed their Bishop while he sat motionless in his chair. Other footage was shown of a bleeding- and now brain damaged Ethiopian monk due to the assault- lying motionless on the hard stone ground, blood oozing from his temples.

For shame, for shame. It made me want to vomit.
And these MEN call themselves HOLY and claim to have devoted their lives to emulating Jesus.
What a Joke. How disgusted must God feel?
What happened to, ''Love one another as I have loved you''?
And the Greek Orthodox ( who own the second largest number of assets in Israel) aren't any better. Their (former) head dude, Patriach Irineos I, sold millions of dollars worth of real estate in Jerusalem to - wait for it - JEWISH SETTLERS!!! He has been deposed and is now just a lowly monk. And this is a holy man??? He's just as bad as Judas. No wonder my dad calls them all crooks.
When did it all become about MONEY? Jesus turned the tables of the merchants in the temple in his day, shouldn't these men who teach his word, do the same?
Whilst it sounds like a script from a bad soap opera, the saddest thing about it is that it's all true. The most embarrassing thing for me, however, is that the Israeli army have to keep law and order at the Church. They must be laughing their heads off at us.
I wish I saw the whole show, maybe I can get a tape from the ABC shop. Mike Willacy, you're a top rate Journo.

Helen Clark - who says you can't have both brains and looks?

2005-09-19T20:08:00.000+10:00

Bad, bad teeth

Whilst I claim to know a bit about Australian politics, I must admit I know next to nothing about the politics of our brethern across the Tasman.

I do know this however, NZ PM Helen Clark has really, bad, bad teeth. I was thinking this as I watched her on TV the other day and wondered why on earth people like her (with really, really bad teeth) do not get them fixed? She's in the public eye, has plenty of money and must really scare herself some mornings. Hell, I was scared when she cracked a smile the other day.

On the other hand, I hear she's pretty decent - and she's one of the only women PMs in the world, so I shouldn't be such a picky cow.

Yummy, yummy Abla's

2005-09-16T21:38:00.000+10:00

I like sweets. I mean I LOVE sweets. Anything containing sugar - gimme, gimme, gimme.

So, imagine how excited I was when Darp came over today with his beautiful girlfriend with a plate of Arabic-sweets from Abla's. These sugary, nutty, filo pastries hit just the spot - so I proceeded to eat the whole plate without feeling even an ounce of guilt eventhough these delicious tidbits are laden with butter and dripping with calories. My excuse - I'm breastfeeding.

Now, for those who do not know what Abla's is, it is a Lebanese sweet shop in the Western Suburbs of Sydney. It is not unique, but probably the best known. I remember my parents taking me there when I was a child and looking around in awe at the massive trays of every colour, shape and flavour of dessert you can imagine. Think (the original) Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory ''Candy Man'' scene crossed with pictures of Lebanon, hooka pipes and little coffee cups. You get the idea.

Thanks Darpie - kiss kiss kiss

What a relief!

2005-09-14T21:20:00.000+10:00

I got back the results of the biopsy today and thank God, the lump is benign.

I can't really explain how relieved I am - it's almost indescribable.

When I got the good news this afternoon, I took a big, long breath and offered up my undying gratitude to the Lord. It wasn't so much that I was scared for myself, but more so for my daughters, husband and family. I didn't want to have to put them through any pain.

Anyway, on a much lighter note, Tara has learned a few more words and was happy to babble all day. She astounds me with her vocabulary every day, but it never ceases to amaze me. She says ''bread'' and ''banana'' and is trying very hard to put words together in sentences by repeating the same word and putting an `a' between them. Its very, very cute.

Not much more to write about. I should really have an early night.

Good night

Lazy, Lazy day

2005-09-11T23:05:00.000+10:00

The morning after the night before!

Today, I have done nothing.
Seriously, I have only done the bare minimum one has to do when they have two babies. I have done no housework, no cooking, no getting out of PJ's until I showered the girls and no going out.

We got home pretty late from my brother's 21st party last night and I just wanted to laze all day. It was pretty exciting getting all dolled up - even if it was just for my parent's backyard. To get into some sexy heels and slap on some make up made me feel young and pretty.

I have done one thing though, yell at the people living down stairs. I truly am a really nice person, but get on the wrong side of me and I can turn into a snarling lioness. To cut a long story short, the couple downstairs were banging around all night - as you know my babies are light sleepers - and by 9.30pm I was fuming. Every bang they made startled Tara and Eden and I'd had enough. I wasn't that rude, until the cow said it was OUR fault for not insulating out place properly. The gaul of some people. It's an old unit block and they only moved in 3 months ago and they think they own the place. She even had the hide to say she hears running - i.e Tara playing - but they don't complain.

I was about to smack her.

I basically told them to piss off and walked back up stairs with ``talk to the hand gesture'' held up.
Humph

Anyway, about last night. The party was great, they all seemed to have a good time, but they were all so TAME. I can't understand it. I - and all my friends at 21- were abso-fucken-lutely WILD, especially at parties. But, I suppose you have to understand my dearest brother and his mates. Let me try to explain.

They are the beautiful people you see on billboards, video clips and Diet Coke commercials. And my brother and his best friend Gian-Carlo (yes, I know the name is even super cool) are like walking Calvin Klein posters. They all wear DESIGNER clothes, Versace bling is a must and drive European cars - not fast but super slow so everyone gets a good perve. They also have these stunning girlfriends and chiseled physiques, the envy of many. (I'm jealous). When they are not working they are either:

1) getting a hair cut
2) getting a part of their body waxed
3) sunbaking (a tan shows off their bulging muscles even better)
4) clothes shopping -(only designer)
5) going to the gym.

They only eat protein rich foods, no fat, junk food, cigarettes, alcohol, drugs, sweets or chocolate and their favorite pastime is - wait for it - taking photos of themselves. They have photos of themselves EVERYWHERE.

But, they even do this in style. Posing is a must and smiling is not allowed. Imagine a cross between Zoolander and a P.Diddy music video. You get the idea.
It actually got really funny watching these kids - who were all wearing ITALIAN WHITE LEATHER SHOES, (apparently this is the latest fashion trend) - snap away on the obligatory digital camera, each one has glued to their hand, and strike a pose.

And, of my God the presents! I think each one was trying to out-do the other! In my day ( I sound so lame) we gave bottle of Sambuca and $50 gift vouchers to HMV for 21st gifts. My brother received designer fragrances, diamond jewelry, vintage bottles of Moet (which will never be drunk as they don't do alcohol) and the latest European designer clothes.

I'm just being jealous cos I shop at Target

I think I'm being a bit harsh. They are great kids, really good. They are never in trouble with the cops or mixed up with anything illegal and are always polite and respectful. What more could you ask for? It's hard enough for teenagers these days to stay on track (am I starting to sound like my mum?), so if their only crime is spending every last cent of their pay packets on the latest diamond-encrusted Longines watch, then so be it.

I do love my brother, I adore him.
Happy Birthday Bro.

2005-09-09T14:21:00.001+10:00

Chubby-bubby

2005-09-09T14:21:00.000+10:00

One of my favourite photo's of Tara

I've got the bloody flu

2005-09-09T13:39:00.000+10:00

My husband has been home with some virusy-fluey thing the last two days.
He NEVER chucks sickies, so he was really crook.
Anyway, today, he woke up well enough to go to work, but I feel like I've been hit with a tonne of bricks. He stayed home until midday, but had to go to work.
I feel like shit.
BUT, I'm so excited about my sis coming in like 7 hours, I've got out of bed, fed the babies and am doing some last minute things for the party tomorrow night
AHHH
C'est la vie

Surprisingly, it wasn't too bad

2005-09-08T23:27:00.000+10:00

Had the biopsy in the booby today, and surprisingly, it didn't hurt a bit. The doctor and the radiologists were wonderful and made me feel really comfortable. But, I was still shit scared. I won't have the results for a few days, but the doc was pretty confidant it didn't look like a cancer.

Fingers crossed.

I'll just have to keep myself busy this weekend - which will be easy to do.

Saturday night is my little bro's 21st Birthday party. I've been up all night creating a powerpoint presentation of photos from when he was a baby - I'm so buggered. Tomorrow I have to pick up the helium tank for the balloons, the pinata (which will be so fun) and help mum with the cooking. It's only going to be a small one in wog-standards as he's only inviting a handful of friends, not the usual 150 cousins we usually have at these types of occasions. Mum's going mental with the cooking as usual. On top of about 20 different dishes, she's cooking a whole baby lamb, (``only a little one, 10 kilo..'' she said). Anything for her ``little, baby boy.'' She's so cute.

I can't believe 21 years have gone by. It just astounds me. And to think, in a blink of an eye, I will be saying the same about my girls. Time really flies.

But, the most exciting thing about this weekend is that my big sis is arriving tomorrow night from NY. I can't wait to wrap my arms around her and kiss her face and just breath in her smell. I miss her so much! It will be so surreal to see her again. I've changed so much. The last time she saw me , I was prego with Tara, now I have 2 kids!

I'd better get some sleep.
YAWN

She's lumped

2005-09-07T20:38:00.000+10:00

Found a lump
Having a needle biopsy done tomorrow
Shitting bricks

My little bubby is already three months old!

2005-09-06T23:27:00.000+10:00

It completely astounds me just how fast time flies. And yet, when you're having a bad day, you feel as if you've been stuck in that frustrating moment forever. Trust me, with two little ones, I've had many a hair-pulling frustrating moment the last three months. On the other hand, it has been awesome. Look at those cute dimples, don't you just wanna squeeze those chubber cheeks?

Ohh Shucks, I'm so soppy tonight, someone slap me.

This is what happens when you turn you back on a toddler - with a chocolate bar - to blog

2005-09-06T23:19:00.000+10:00

There was a little girl, who had a little curl ...

So, I gave Tara a mini-chocolate bar to keep her quiet the other day as I was blogging. Sue me! Did I commit the biggest crime in the world? Chocolate's good for you anyway.

I had to publish this pic, it was just too cute.

P.S Update on big sis in NY. Arrival has been delayed a few day (damn) I just can't wait, but as long as she arrives safely, it's ok.
CIAO

New Orleans

2005-09-02T11:34:00.000+10:00

OH MY GOD! Where the hell is George W Bush???

Too bloody busy killing innocents in Iraq to help his own people who are stranded in their own, horrible war zone.
What I don't understand is how Dubya can deploy the National Guard tout-suite BUT can't seem to get his ass into gear to supply food, water, nappies, etc etc etc. No bloody wonder the masses have deteriorated into a state of animals - it's a fight for survival. And as usual, the biggest group who will suffer are the children and the women. Rape is rampant, killings, bashings, lootings. It's crazy.

What else pisses me off is that this supposed ``greatest country'' has to call on aid from the world - even some of the poorest countries in the world have already put their hands n their pockets - when every single day MILLIONS of dollars are being spent on the war in Iraq.

It's DISGUSTING and UNCONSCIONABLE.

If the media can get in these areas around New Orleans etc, and blast images of the devastation, hungry naked babies, terrified women, the sick, the old, the infirm, why can't the government send aid agencies in? It's not like the hurricane was a surprise, they knew it was coming, why wasn't anything set up a week ago, a fortnight ago?

Pathetic.

If I was an American citizen I would demand my taxes back. What a lame ass excuse for a government.

As you can tell, I'm angry.

Please, whether or not you are religious, offer up a prayer for all the affected people, they need it.

May You Live 2 See The Dawn

The Countdown has begun

2005-09-01T11:27:00.000+10:00

IM SO EXCITED!!!
MY BIG SIS IS COMING HOME FROM NY!

With only four days to go until she arrives for a whirlwind holiday, I'm getting really, really excited. I can't wait to see my sis - first because I haven't seen her for nearly two years and secondly because I can't wait for her to to meet my babies. The last time she was here, I was seven months pregnant with Tara.
I only hope that we can convince her to extend her three week trip - it's just going to be too short.

Poor Broggers!

2005-08-31T14:15:00.000+10:00

I was close to tears this morning when I heard what happened to John Brogden overnight.
For those who don't know what the hell I'm going on about, I'll do a quick re-cap.
John Brogden - MP for Pittwater and State Liberal Opposition Leader resigned on Monday after it was revealed he called Former Labor Premier Bob Carr's Malaysian born wife Helena a ''Mail Order Bride'' at a boozy night where a number of Journalists were in attendance.
NOW, I'm not excusing him or agreeing with his distateful comments - he puts it down as a stupid joke of sorts - but I honestly felt sorry for him because I know his whole political career is now DEAD.
He was stupid, naive and a complete idiot. He resigned and left the door open for Fatty O'Barrell ooops sorry Barry O'Farrell ( who has now pulled out of the race) and cardboard cut-out Peter Debnam (he really is very cardboardy looking) to take the reigns.
This morning it was revealed he tried to top himself over the scandal.
John, what did you do???
I can personally say that - with my political views aside - Broggers is a likeable, decent bloke.
I dealt with him on a nearly daily basis in my Journo days when I worked at the Manly Daily and as young, ambitious guy who has worked his whole life to get to where he is, I admired his forthrightness and ambition. He does have a familiarity with journalists so I disregard the sexual harassment claims (I'm not calling anyone a liar but some journos do have a penchant for BEATING UP a story). I was pregnant with Tara at the same time his wife Lucy was with their son and Broggers always had a nice word to say to me and asked how I was coming along.
I really, really wish him a speedy recovery and hope he has the drive and faith to overcome this seemingly insurmountable obstacle.
And for those vulture-journos camped outside Royal North Shore Hospital, (I wouldn't put it past some to dress up as an orderly to get closer to him) leave the poor bugger alone.
That said, I know that if I was still working at the local paper, I would have been at RNSH in a lickety-split.
I'm digging myself in a hole here! I'm not meaning to sound contradictory, but there are journalist (e.g the Current Affair type) and then there are Journalists (e.g like me who are moral, seek the truth and want to write a great, newsworthy story)

Get well Broggers!!

It's been a month????

2005-08-28T22:42:00.000+10:00

FFFFFAAAAARRRRRKKKKKKK!
I can't believe it's been a month since I blogged! Well, let's see if I can get you all up to speed.
Tara's Mum's Last Month.
I have:
Changed nappies: 300 times
Breastfed: 500 times
Cooked dinner 30 times
Had food thrown at me by Tara: 220 times
Been thrown up on: 1000 times
Burst into tear: 50 times
Headache: 150 times
Laundry: never ending
Picked toys up: 30000000 times
and slept a total of
FIVE HOURS
on top of all this, I have had to endure that bloody, annoying Hi 5 dvd Tara loves three times a day, every day! It has seriously affected my brain, so much so that i sing the songs in my head while doing the dishes, shaving my legs and even cooking. I REALLY, REALLY hate HI 5.

Tara needs to get her chicken pox vaccination tomorrow - the hubby is taking her before work. I hate seeing my girls cop needles, and it's going to be worse than usual because Tara is much older (the last was when she was 12 months) and so much more aware.
She's still driving me crazy with her eating. Would you believe in church today, she picked up a crusty old biscuit from the floor and put it straight in her mouth!! I nearly had a heart seizure. Maybe I should just chuck all her food on my (scrubbed) floor and let her eat it from there.
Today, I put Eden in a tracksuit Tara wore when she was 5 months old - Eden's nearly 3 months old. She's such a michellin baby, I l love the rolls!

Not much to write about

2005-07-29T12:58:00.000+10:00

What a boring post this is going to be. But, I have logged onto the net so I might aswell post.
Have done the laundry, the girls are having their avo naps and I'm heading off to my sisters to see my gorgeous niece.
That's about it.
hmmmm
OH, by the way, I have noticed that I have never written a post about my love for the ever amazing Prince. I will soon. I hope my girls have the same love for him and his music when they grow up. When I was pregnant with Tara I went to his fab concert and I always played his music to both girls when they were in utero. Often, Tara and I put on his DVD of music videos and dance around hysterically in the loungeroom - our own mini Prince concerts.
I think our downstairs neighbours hate me.
HE HE HE

Welcome to the Dawn

It's a girl!

2005-07-21T18:19:00.000+10:00

MY SISTER HAD A GIRL!
Not only am I super excited for her - she has three gorgeous boys, but I finally have a niece! She is absolutely stunning. I know she will be wearing a lot of hand-me-downs from my girls. As a matter of fact, I have already passed on a few things from Eden - she's such a chubber and has already outgrown a number of clothes.
Ahhhh, I can't wait to see her again. I'm so proud of my sis!
What's really exciting is my girls will have a cousin so close to their ages that they will grow up together, be best friends (hopefully) and have each other to lean on.
I'm getting teary .... school formals, birthday parties, boyfriends, weddings. Okay, I'm jumping ahead of myself just a tad.
It's the hormones.

2005-07-21T10:56:00.000+10:00

Ed Phillips - that cheesy grin!

Lets see if I pass the audition

2005-07-21T10:41:00.000+10:00

What a hectic week!
I've been on tenderhooks this past seven days waiting for my sister to pop out baby number four. I'm more nervous for her than I was for myself. This time will be different though because while I was present at her other three labours, I won't be this time because my little Eden is still too little to leave for any extended period of time with my husband - he hasn't got boobs to breastfeed her. I feel so sorry for my sis as her labours are always pretty horrendous and it was pretty scary with baby number three. Also she's been having contractions since she was 7 months prego and been hospitalised four times with false alarms.
ANYWAY
As you might have read in a previous post, I was wondering if I should attempt to get onto Temptation. Well guess what? I'm going for an audition in the next couple of weeks! I hope I pass. Could you imagine if I do get on? I swear, if I do, and I really stink, I'm going to bomb out BIG TIME. I'll just buzz and answer really badly and hopefully I can be the first to get into negative figures. he he he he
I must run as I can hear the baby stirring and it seems that Tara has done a stinky bog.
Delightful.

Don't they look similar?

2005-07-14T23:54:00.000+10:00

Eden at 5 weeks

I was going through some pictures of Tara when she a newborn and I just couldn't get over just how similar Eden looks at the same age. While Edee is a lot chubbier, has a smaller nose and a larger mouth, you could almost pass these two pictures off as the same baby!
I love my girls!!! ohhh shucks.

2005-07-14T23:52:00.000+10:00

Tara at 7 weeks

What do you do when your baby eats their own poo?

2005-07-06T15:29:00.000+10:00

I am by nature a very squeamish person.
Not only am I a sympathetic vomiter - an unfortunate trait I have inherited from my mum - (why couldn't I have inherited her stunning looks?) public toilets, a range of smells, hairy backs, raw eggs and many other things turn my tum. Imagine my horror as I saw my beautiful Tara eat her own poo! Let me paint a picture. Do not read on if you too are squeamish.
I had been up all night with the mother of all migraines. My husband had tried unsuccessfully to settle Eden who was having trouble doing a poo. At 5.30am, Eden decided to do her poo. It seeped through her nappy, singlet, body suit, pyjamas and blanket. Now, as I explained earlier, I had a really bad migraine, the pain of which made me vomit my guts up. Facing this sticky, green goo, I proceeded to hurl again - but I had no choice but to change the baby who by now was screeching at the top of her lungs. ( She hates being undressed). This ear piercing scream inturn woke up Tara who needs no excuse to join us all in bed. With four in the bed, my husband in a foul mood and my migraine, it wasn't the best of nights. Anyway, to get back to the subject of this blog. A few hours later, and feeling like I had been 15 rounds with Kostya, with half closed eyes, I had to change Tara's nappy. As I reached down to grab the wipes, she stuck her fingers in the khaki mess and before I could stop her, stuck her finger in her mouth. There was a big blob of poo stuck to her front teeth. At this point I started dry retching. I was torn between washing her mouth out or running to the toilet to puke. Now, you would think that if you ate your own excrement, you would automatically chuck up, but the little bugger thought it was the funniest thing in her life. I wish someone would explain to me how it takes me hours sometimes to force delicious food in her gob, but she happily eats her own shit!

This was by far the most disgusting thing I have so far experienced as a mother.
The joys of motherhood.

My head pounds, baby just woke, gotta run.

I thought it was about time I posted some pictures

2005-06-23T00:23:00.000+10:00

The new bub Eden

2005-06-23T00:22:00.000+10:00

Cheeky Tara

How tempting is Temptation?

2005-06-15T22:35:00.000+10:00

I've always been a fan of Sale Of The Century. My dad would sit the three of us girls down at 7pm (or was it 7.30pm?) to watch some educational TV. As mum was out working the nightshift - and didn't really like us watching TV when we should have been doing our homework - dad rationalised this half hour of TV because ``we could learn something.'' I don't know how he rationalised us watching Prisoner though. We were only 11, 9 and 7 years old. I still get tears in my eyes when I think of that sad, sad theme song, ''He used to bring me roses, I wish he would again...... I can still remember how Prisoner would end at 9.30pm - our bed time- and we would bolt to bed before mum came through the door at 9.35pm. I suppose it gave dad a bit of respite from three hypo girls, who bickered all the time, until mum came home and he could pass the parental responsibilities on to her. Poor mum.

Anyway, that aside, there was one rule while watching Sale. We weren't allowed to talk through the whole show. We had to sit in front of the TV and digest the precious jewels of knowledge from the ever effervescent Tony Barber (every wog loved him) and admire the puffed-up shoulder padded Delvine Delaney hoping to one day emulate her perfectly teased up hair. Imagine my excitement at the return of this cult show. At 7pm for the last 2 weeks, I've turned into my dad and demanded absolute silence from my husband, toddler and baby during the 30 minutes of Temptation - the new Sale of the Century. I actually revel in showing off to my husband my prowess at answering questions correctly. He just humours me. I know the questions aren't that hard and it's all about timing, but I reckon if I went on, I'd give it a fair shot. The host, Ed would shit me badly though. He has this cheesy Cheshire cat full toothed, thin lipped smile. It's actually quite revolting. Make sure to check it out. I'm afraid if I ever went on, his smile/grimace would put me off and I would leave the show with minus 50 points.

But it's not just Sale that gets my motor running. I get the same way during Who Wants to Be a Millionaire. I scream at the TV and remind my husband repeatedly just how smart I am ( when I get the questions right).

While I'm on the subject of game shows, I have a confession to make. I have actually been on one. It's quite embarrassing cause I bombed - but not because I didn't know the answers, but because I couldn't see the stupid monitor. For vanities sake, I didn't wear my glasses and therefore looked like a stunned mullet in my hot pink fluffy jumper. By the way, it was BURGO's Catchphrase. If you have any doubts that this fake haired, fake tanned plasticine faced man is a complete and utter tool, I can rest your doubts aside. His fake laugh and horrible head still give me nightmare. Shudder. But, it wasn't a complete waste of time, I walked away with $420 bucks and a holiday in Byron Bay.

The other show I'm really into at the moment is Ready, Steady Cook. Tara can't wait for it every day and has learned to say Ready, Steady Cook, it's really cute. There is one thing that shits me about it, and that again is the host. He does this pansy-assed jog when he comes out and while talking to the two chefs throughout the show. I would still love to be a contestant though, especially if they team me up with chef Carol Selva Rajah who is my former high school science teacher!
Is there a pattern here? I have a problem with all game show hosts???

I'm feeling queasy now - just eaten a small box of Guylian sea shell chocolates. I love these as much as Ferrero Rochers. Who doesn't?

Does anyone think I should apply to be a contestant on Sale? What do you all think?
See ya

Why can't he ever pick a DVD I like?

2005-06-12T23:07:00.000+10:00

Last night, I sent out the husband to get Finding Neverland from the local rental store. He was with his mate, so I was specific about what I wanted to watch. I knew that if I gave them free reign they would come back with a pathetic movie which would feature: 1) skinny, scantily clothed chics, cars and a stupid/non-existent movie line. As I expected, as soon as he got to Blockbuster, I got a phone call. ''They're all out of Finding Neverland.'' Great, my Johnny Depp -aka the sexiest man on earth -fantasies would have to be put on hold for yet another night. ''Okay then babe, just pick up any romantic comedy, but be quick,'' I said.

10 minutes later, armed with pizza and a bottle of sprite, the boys presented me with the movie of the night.

''TAXI

Good guys. Bad Girls, Hot Ride.''

I seriously should be a mind reader. I just looked at them with an ultra pained look on my face. ''This is the movie you pick?? How well do you know me? Do you honestly think I would want to watch this? It sounds like the title of a porno.'' His excuse? There was nothing left. I seriously doubt that from the thousands of movies in the store, this was the only one left. Anyway, I emphatically announced I wasn't going to waste me time watching this crap - but seeing the hurt look on my husband's face, I thought I'd give it a shot.

I lasted about 20 minutes. It was so crap.

Anyway, I was so bored I flicked through the blockbuster magazine and came across an ad for Million Dollar Baby. Now there's a movie I really want to watch. Looking at the picture of Hillary Swank decked out in her crop top, boxing shorts, gloves with her hair in braids I had a flashback to my kickboxing days. I'm not sure if I have mentioned it before, but I used to train at the local PCYC up tp 7 times a week. I've had a number of competitive fights, (called full contact martial arts tournaments because Kickboxing is illegal for women to compete in in NSW - more on this later) won a couple of trophies and was pretty damn good. I've also broken a number of bones, but remarkably never the nose. God I miss it. I really want to get back into it, not competitively, just to get fit and feel strong again. I'd love to train my daughters when they are older as it is so empowering.

Better get some shut eye before Eden starts squirming for a booby-feed

Nighty-nite.

Ferrero Rochers are so delicious

2005-06-11T14:20:00.000+10:00

You know what it's like when you've eaten a really big Thai meal. The salty, sweet, hot and sour flavours are all blended beautifully creating the perfect taste sensation in your mouth. But then, not soon after, you really crave something choclately. Maybe it's just me, and maybe it's just that I'm breastfeeding, but after our thai takeaway last night, I just couldn't help myself. Not one, or two or even a piggy 3, but 8 Ferrero Rocher's later and I was satiated. Thanks to my friends who brought chocolates to the hospital, I have about another three weeks supply of these delectable little nutellar-ly treats - not to mention the exquisite Lindt balls and the hand made fruit-jellies imported from England from my favourite hairdresser uncle (who also gave me a stunning hand cross bred bright purple potted orchid). Anyway, this is the ONLY time in a women's life when eating chocolates in such a gluttonous way is not automatically followed by a shameful bout of guilt. Using breastfeeding as an excuse is great because no way can call you a pig for fear of the aforementioned glutton delving into post-natal depression. The way I see it is that for the last 9 months I have had to endure kicks, punches, incontinence, heartburn and ugly maternity clothes - not to mention the roadmap of stretchmarks - so if I want to eat 8 ferreros or even 25 lindt balls, I'm gonna do it.
There is a downside to breastfeeding.
While I have lost over 10 kilo's in just over a week, (so the baby, placenta and waters weighed about that much, who am I kidding??) but you really have to watch some foods. For instance; Pepsi. I love this beautifully carbonated, sugar infused cola drink. But, I have to limit myself to about half a glass a day or else the bub will be up all night high on caffeine. Mustard/mustard pickles. If I eat this, the little critter will have terrible wind and I will be up all night with her, massaging her tummy until she farts like a trooper. More on baby farts later. Alcohol. In my case champagne and baileys. I have not had a drink since the night we conceived Tara and I don't envisage having a drop for atleast another year. But, that's okay, there's always that sparkling apple juice stuff from Coles my husband gets me when I crave champagne. Sad, I know.
Both girls are sleeping at the moment - a miracle I know. Tara had her first temper tantrum at the bub today and threw her bottle at Eden. Lucky, I have quick reflexes and it just touched her lip.
My hubby has cleaned the house and has just headed off to the gym so I have these few minutes to myself. I'm actually waiting on a courier to deliver something from my sis in NY - I hope its more chocolates.
Oh no, one is up
gotta run

Okay, so Eden woke up for a little refreshment and is snuggled in the crook of my neck. I love that baby smell!

Anyway, on a more serious note, the house fire at Wyong.
I was literally crying buckets at the thought of those little children perishing in that inferno. That image of them stuck on the balcony, screaming out in fear and then no-one coming to their help makes me so angry.
WHERE THE FUCK WAS THEIR STUPID FUCKING MOTHER?????
Out drinking, having a good time with her boyfriend (not one of the fathers of one of her children that perished). Lord, I have no right to judge BUT it's hard not to. I apologise to any of my readers who live on the central Coast (Sydney), but it's women like this who perpetrate the stereotype of irresponsible single mothers on the pension who live on the central coast who have children by a number of different men.
Why shouldn't this woman be tried for manslaughter? The youngest was only 15 months old. Totally unconscionable. How dare she live out her life in comfort, she should pay. I don't care what the excuse was ``we thought the baby sitter was there" they were your children, your responsibility. It makes me sick, angry, sad, heartbroken. It's just not fair.
Would love to hear anyone else's view.
May you all live 2 C the dawn

Two beautiful girls!!

2005-06-08T11:01:00.000+10:00

A beautiful, perfect healthy little girl graced our little trio and transformed it into an awesome foursome. Little Eden decided to enter the world last Thursday morning at 6.36am making me so unbelievably overjoyed and feeling so amazingly blessed.
But, I tell you, it was lucky I decided to go to the hospital at all, or else she could have been born in my little hatchback. Don't hate me all those women out there that labour for hours, days and go through excruciating pain. Eden was born very quickly and, without sounding like a Christian zealot, it was through the grace of God and the Virgin Mary that it happened so quickly, so perfectly - I'm very lucky.
Now, don't get me wrong, it was no walk in the park, but the pain was bearable - just. But, I'd gladly go through it all again for Eden, Tara and any other children in the future.
Its weird. I never thought I could ever love anyone as much as Tara. I was actually in tears at the hospital when my hubby took Tara home as I felt as if I was abandoning her. Up until that night, I had never spent a night apart from my baby girl. She couldn't really care less - she just wanted to get home, twirl around in circles (her new thing) and yell out ``daddy, daddy, daddy'' over and over and over and over again. Its hilarious actually, she gets really dizzy and topples over. So cute.
As for Eden, she so pretty, beautiful in fact. With a full head of dark hair - even more than Tara when she was born, she looks like a little doll. Her cheeks are punctured with two deep dimples, her eyes are long and almond-shaped and her perfect pout is purely kissable. I should really post a pic. I'm completely enraptured, besotted, in love with her. Its amazing the depth of a mother's love.
Now that I've been home for a couple of days and have unpacked, done laundry and had no sleep, I've had an epiphany. Next time I visit a friend or family member in the hospital whose had a baby, I'm not going to buy anything for the baby, I'm going to buy something for the mum. You always get flowers, chocolates and incy-wincy baby clothes, but what a new mum would really love is a basket of little luxuries. For instance: really nice perfume, bubble bath, lipstick, a face mask to get rid of the ``I-look-like-death-warmed-up'', stuff like that. Not that I'm not appreciative to all my family and friends who bought us gifts, but I have baby blankets and bibs coming out of my ears!!!
Anyway, I'd better run. Both little bubs are having a nap, which won't last long, so I'd better peel off these Elmo P'J's, brush my teeth and write up a shopping list for my hubby.

Have you ever noticed how little traffic there is at 3.11am?

2005-05-20T15:26:00.000+10:00

If I ever go back to paid work, I will look for something where I am working the night/early morning shift. Why you may ask? Well, in my hazy state of semi-consciousness in the wee hours of this morning, a glimmer of lucidity hit me. It's not all that bad being up at 3am and driving on the roads. There is no pollution, no getting the finger and no traffic. However, one must remember that this thought came to me after trying unsuccessfully for hours to put my toddler to sleep, myself completely sleep deprived and , oh yeah, being very heavily pregnant. So, I really wouldn't put much weight to this thought.

There was one sobering thought however. My husband hasn't decided to divorce me. Either he loves me quite a lot, or he has escaped to Bermuda and will not be returning tonight.I say this because if anyone had seen the state I looked in at 3am, 4am, 5am, 6am, and 10am this morning, they would have got a very big fright - and I'm not exaggerating. Picture a beached whale with Fraggle hair, unable to open sleep-encrusted eyes singing ``Five little ducks went out one day'' very off key wearing the most attractive maternity underwear (aka my husbands jocks which he put on me because I have lost the ability to dress myself. Anyway, my munchkin fell asleep last night about 10pm okay I thought to myself as I hankered down to read the latest Reader's Digest. 11.30pm and WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. To make a long story short, by 3.11am I thought I'd better try the night-time drive before I pull all my hair out. I was Cra-ghing (cry-laughing) as I watched my hypo-baby stand in the middle of my bed, swivel her hips (yes, she swivels!) curls bouncing everywhere yelling "Dance, dance dance" over, and over and over again.
It was sort of funny, but not really.

Anyhow, she is totally enthralled with Playschool at the moment - my 28 minutes of respite. Soon, however, I'm going to have to take her out before she demands I turn the stereo on and dance around.

I hope you all enjoy sleeping tonight. Now I totally understand how Chinese sleep-deprivation torture actually leads to insanity. I'm developing a weird tick.

yawn.